I’m in a little of a Christmas funk, as usual. I spent last Christmas in the hospital and am worried about it happening again. Trying not to work myself up over it. Still seeing and hearing things all the time, and my treatment team tells me I’m delusional still. Not sure what to believe. I just want to know if what I’m experiencing is real or not. I would like to believe them. They’ve never lied to me that I know of. Thoughts seem a little odd and all over the place. Just ready for Christmas to be over.
I would say listen to your treatment team. They have no reason to be dishonest with you and their assessment of you is probably accurate. I am sorry you’re having a hard time. This is a tough season for many of us and, like you, i’m ready for it all to be over with.
@binarybipolar recently posted a video with tips for surviving the stress of the holidays. It might be worth a look for you.
Don’t be afraid to rely on your support network while you’re struggling.
Thanks. I’ve been keeping myself busy to cope. It seems to help a little, but the symptoms are still there. Everything looks distorted and everything feels weird. Even the chair I’m sitting in feels different. Trying to convince myself this is psychosis and that they’re right about me having an illness. Just wish the voices and seeing the angels/demons would stop.
Yeah it sounds like you’re really having a hard time. Keeping busy is definitely better than sitting around focusing on your symptoms. I try to be doing something to distract myself. You said something one day about going on Clozaril, i think. Are you still gonna try that out?
My pdoc said he wants to give the Invega another month or two to see if it works. But his last day is December 31st so I’ll be seeing a new pdoc on January 30th so maybe this new one will have a different plan. I honestly think the one that’s leaving just didn’t want to go through the hassle of getting me back on Clozaril again since he has such a short time left at the clinic. I didn’t particularly care for him anyways.
Well maybe the new pdoc will be better for you. Let’s hope so anyway. I hope you get some relief soon.
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