Choosing homelessness

Maybe I wanted to chose it to calm me down, to get away from too much impulses and people. So I decided to take a vacation instead, to some quite location this year. I wonder how I would feel then after that.

What kind of homelessness? Like living outside and sleeping in store entrances when its pouring rain? Digging in garbage for stuff?

Or is it more you just want no responsibility and like sleeping out of a hotel instead?

Sometimes id feel like getting away from everything. No phone no internet just a hotel room and sleeping.

The first one, sleeping outside and creating some music and then buying food from it. That is what I considered a few times, but I am not sure. Probably wonā€™t happen, but it feels attractive in some way. I know it is weirdā€¦

Seeing people sleep outside when its -10 out doesnt look too fun. Or when its raining for 2 weeks.

In good weather it might be alright for a bit

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My sleeping bag can go to -20, but I know it is different. Probably have to find a warm country if I ever go and do it.

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I had episodes of homelessness during past decade. I spent at most a week per episode outside on the streets or in the shrubbery in the countryside. It happened both during winter and summer. It was mostly outside of my control, both before and after psychosis.

Honestly, I think just a short experience of being homeless will cure any such ideas as leaving your house, permanently. After just a few days of sleeping on the hard cold ground, not knowing who might come up to you while you sleep, noticing that your clothes get stinky and you have nowhere to wash or dry them, anyone will start to reconsider.

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I donā€™t know how the former qualifies as taking responsibility, or how either of these possibilities are considered irresponsible. I can conceive why someone would think itā€™s an irresponsible lifestyle, but to me it isnā€™t at all.

Iā€™m not compelled to explain myself beyond this. Seems like you want to ridicule me, regardless of my answer, and thatā€™s fun and all, but I wonā€™t participate.

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You have a brave heart i think thats why :slight_smile: i think the trick is to do it little by little in easy stages until you can handle the difficulty of it. Why not start with canping? Poverty is a special means to virtue. Seek it even if youre not homeless.

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If I went homeless I would try to sleep in the back of my SUV with the seats folded down. Maybe see if a twin mattress would fit.

Even right now in my life Iā€™m thinking about leaving home without a detailed plan and starting over. That wouldnt be homelessness for me immediately because I have some financial resources. But in a way my desire to get away from work and living situation and mundane routine etc makes something like homelessness a romantic notion. I remember when the movie Into the Wild came out about McCandless and wondered if he was a ā€˜spectrumā€™ case of sz. Some aspects of his character reminded me of myself. Not being a slave to money, nonparticipant in mass behavior, and living life for experience rather than survival are a few points that would entice me . Whatever the underlying cause of normality in society which likely has something to do with rational thought keeps people from pursuing a transient or alternative lifestyle is not shared by many szs.

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Maybe it is because of my house where I live. I experienced many episodes of extreme psychosis here which makes me want to move, but moving isnā€™t an optionā€¦ so can only do vacation or being homeless, perhaps for a whileā€¦ maybe my thought about the place changes, but I experienced difficult things in my home that frightened me.

I understand you perfectly. I used to live abroad, but when psychosis happened, I was forced to move back to my parentā€™s apartment. I was so sick of the sight outside the window in my home, among other things related to the location, that it made me hysterical and make shallow cuts on my arms.

I still live at this place, but I kind of learned to accept this disgusting dump and that my inability to leave it for something better is my own fault.

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It is why I going within myself a lot, itā€™s more of a inner dream world, better than the outside reality. Outside world is not good, too harsh. Soft inner world which is dreamy can be soothing.

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