Schizophrenia.com

Children are needy

I am so terrible with needy children. They need your time, your attention and your ideas. I am never even willing let alone able. I could blame my age for some of the inability but I always carried a bad attitude.

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For most people it’s very hard to give what you were never given.

We all suffer from egocentric thought and feeling. Children with problems need as much care as adults with problems. Remember that everyone has a place, maybe young children are not your cup of tea.

I’ve long known my place was not with preschoolers. But sometimes there are children in our house and that I can’t control. It tests me to the core.

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For those who don’t want to have kids, probably best not to. In my own case, we hadn’t planned to have one of our own because of, well genetics, but … ooops. Things are working out okay so far. Having a kid is great if you’re into that sort of thing. Gives you something beyond yourself to live for.

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Babies don’t come out in survival mode, so they come out looking adorable instead, thus insuring survival instead of a pillow over their head.

Children are needy for sure, but if you teach them how to be less dependent on you (the adult/parent) then it makes both a happy adult child and parent.

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I was trying to be nice. New parents can be very delicate, being sleep deprived and all.
Plus you got to remember, anything someone produces always looks much better to them than the rest.

Babies are much more adorable when you know you don’t have to keep them.

I often wish I could have tried my hand at raising kids, but it didn’t work out. Oh well.

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It’s part of the charm of children that they are needy.

Have you ever been the one responsible for taking care of their needs? It can be a load, a headache.

No, not for any length of time, but I think I would be good at it. I haven’t gotten too stressed out by children acting up when I was around them. I’m not going to get to try to be a father, though, because I am 57, and I haven’t had children yet.

Chordy, I can definitely understand what you mean.

I was raised by a mother that was completely devoid of maternal skills, qualities and nature. Growing up, I never wanted children – stating from a very young age that I would rather be a nanny (grandmother) than a mother. When my own children came along, not only did I suffer from postpartum depression, but the added stresses of my first child’s father being murder two days after our son was born, and my own psychosis. I didn’t bond with my son, I went directly back to work as soon as I had him, hiring a nanny to take care of him during my working hours. When my second child was born, I was dealing with ALL the same issues as before (shy the murder) AND this time, I was ‘blessed’ with a child that just would not sleep. By my third child, I was planning the strategy of how I was going to commit suicide. Two years later, I didn’t know what was real, paranoia, dream or lucidity, and had absolutely no support whatsoever. So, I walked away. For the safety of my children, I decided it was best to get them away from me.

Since then, I’ve decided that I don’t want to be around children. I like them in increments and when I know they’ll be going off with their mommies and daddies shortly. I cannot handle a screaming/crying child and will remove myself so that I won’t have to deal with and/or hear them. When I speak to a child, I am very matter of fact and even sardonic in attitude and nature. I do not coo or fawn over infants, babies or toddlers and frankly, they remind me more of immobile Mr. Magoos and drunk vertically challenged adults. Teenagers… I would rather try my hand at dressing an alligator in a leotard than attempt interaction with those between the ages of thirteen to twenty-one years of age… and I’m spotty even after the age of twenty-one.

I will never have a mother/child relationship with my own children. I don’t want one. I don’t feel compelled to have a relationship with them. I don’t have the feelings to have or want a relationship with them. It’s not out of meanness or cruelty. It’s just not part of my nature. I no longer fight it or go through the motions, because to me that causes more harm than good – faking feelings/emotions. I no longer hide my feelings or thoughts when others try to press me, either.

Some people just aren’t into children. It’s okay. You’re allowed. And don’t let anyone make you feel badly about it.

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Thanks, caa. That is much more helpful than a pdoc who said that nothing else was very important. I was actually sterile with an aversion to the idea of raising children. No children possible. Some people who can’t have children adopt, not me. I’m sure I couldn’t have them because I didn’t want them. My parents were ignorant about human nature and were lousy parents. They passed that on to me.

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