Chemicals, yeah, I get it!

I had the idea reading a metaphysical book that my mental illness could very well be caused by my thoughts and I thought, that would make it workable, I could cure myself! I went to a hospital and a woman said out of the blue, it’s chemical imbalance, but then she said, there’s nothing wrong with you! And I really looked good too, perception can be so utterly misleading! Tonight I was thinking of a friend of mine who has struggled with severe depression her whole life and I wondered what she’d done to deserve it, because I also thought my illness was caused by my evil. And I realized, It’s Chemical! And I realized my mistake and forgave myself. I feel much better letting go of that. My disease was partly caused by PCP abuse. And I used bad LSD. I’ve been drug free for twenty five years now. I’ve been given the ultimate ultimatum.

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I got into metaphysics for a while. I don’t think it was a good choice to indulge in these ideas - given my delusional capabilities

Perception can be mis-leading for sure. My mother broke her foot, and everything gives her sympathy - we get none of that as our aliment is hidden from sight when we take our meds

No one deserves anything bad, we’re just human. We might be tough and can put up with a lot, but at the same time our bodies are complex and not everything works as it should. There is no evil in this world - evil is a construct.

I also messed with some pretty terrible LSD, and I had many bad trips that caused my initial psychosis when I was 16 years old. The damn liquid stuff on the sugar cubes finished me off… I tried smoking weed after, and I was hallucinating and it never stopped…

Congrats on being drug free for so long. My last drug relapse was 11 years ago when I was 23 and spent £1,000 of cash off a credit card to buy cocaine… Regretted that I can tell you!

Good way of putting it!

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