Cbt.....question to those who have done it

i am wearing my eye patch again, it stops the light coming into my left eye…
everytime i go to my clinical pyschologist and have the sessions for an hour or so, the next few days my head feels wierd, i get headaches behind my left eye, i feel like vomiting and generally feel unwell…i put it down to releasing bad thoughts that i have held onto for a long time…
was this your experience ?
take care

To be honest, I don’t really think I’ve ever applied CBT techniques outside of a CBT class. It sounds great when I’m sitting in the session but it’s generally out of mind when I need it in a real-life situation.

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Smells like trauma. Meds help with trauma…yes, antipsychotics are used for PTSD. I actually do vomit when I am stressed out and anxious. For a week after getting kicked off that powerlifting team I was gagging and vomiting in my mouth, I had to swallow it because my medications were in that vomit.

When I was evaluated I scored pathologically highly for trauma. My doctors stressed that fact to me, they wanted me to realize that I was emotionally/psychologically scarred. They asked if I could leave the room to talk to my parents and my parents said he firmly stated that he wasnt sure what to blame for it, the molestation when I was a child, the near death experience when I was a child, the bullying I received as a child and early teen, something I could be hiding, but the fact was that I am traumatized to the level of a combat veteran.

Trauma sucks. I had to expose myself to things associated with trauma in part of my therapy. I was afraid of women and afraid of swimming because I nearly drowned in the ocean and was molested by a female swim instructor giving me private lessons when I was little. I did not kiss a girl until I was 20 years old. The sight of the ocean makes me feel empty and dead inside because I accepted death in it.

The funny thing is that I thought of what could have been when I was 8 years old and drowning in an undertow. I thought of the past first, then what could have been, then I was rescued. Ha…what could have been…I never thought I would have endured the hell that paranoid schizophrenia is by the time I was halfway through college. I can say I am in remission now, my meds work well most of the time and I just need to exercise and drink caffeine to feel normal on these meds.

So yes, your experience with CBT is not unheard of, it reminds me of mine. You have to face your dark side. But hey, your username is @darksith, so that shouldnt be a problem for you!

Just kidding. It sucks. It’s painful but sometimes it hurts to heal. Just remember, that pain will go away once it is felt. That is my opinion as a patient. Sure, I am a psych major and know how CBT works, but to actually be mentally ill, disturbed, slightly psychopathic and traumatized and now live a normal life has given me a unique view on the whole thing.

It worked for me. Yeah, it hurts, I cried, I bitched and moaned, I wasnt the “badass” powerlifter, bodybuilder or fighter I have been on the side during the last several years. I was ****ed up and needed therapy.

Please keep going. My senior quote from high school- “A man’s first and noblest victory is over himself.” I am my own worst enemy- or to be more specific, my brain is my minds worst enemy. I have a mind that knows its vessel is damaged. But neuroplasticity pays off, my brain has grown accustomed to being able to accept my past and present. I think more about the future now, which makes me anxious but beats the crippling depression the past used to bring on me. Now it hurts to look back but doesnt stop me from doing anything.

I cant stress how hellish life was like for about 2 years before I got on my current meds. To be in that hell for much longer would have done much more damage to my already messed-up mind.

Just remember, your mind and willpower are stronger than your brain. You can change the way you react to memories, symptoms, life events, anything with practice. It’s like exercise- it feels impossible at first but with perseverance you will be doing things you never imagined. I never imagined lifting 500 lbs once, let alone multiple times, but I have a freaking video of me doing that six times. I never really believed that life would be back to normal once I was psychotic. Now I sit here and speak in the past tense about psychosis.

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hey thanks, mortimermouse that really helped, i thought i would not be the only one to feel like this.
i have a way to go yet…before i unravel this horror that has wrapped it self around my brain.
i like your qoute ’ a man’s noblest victory is over himself ', that is a good one.
thanks for your support.
take care

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What’s CBT?? (I know this probably answers your question, I don’t think I’ve had it done, but I’m curious.)

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cognitive behavioral therapy ,mine is for ptsd, ocd etc. stemming from early childhood.
it is helping me.
take care

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I’ve had some intense sessions of CBT that have drained me, made me cry and made me nauseous enough to throw up and given me a headache for a day or more. It’s hard facing some of that past.

Letting it go, getting that toxin out of the brain and not letting it feed off other aspects of my health sure has helped me learn how to let go, forgive myself and others and get out of the negative loop.

Every once in a while I need to go back for a tune up. But I’m glad I had this resource open to me.

I’m sorry it’s giving you a headache. But I’m glad it helping with the over all feeling better.

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i am glad you, mortimermouse, Malvok, and others on here have done it already it helps not being the first.
i am feeling better for it, my symptoms, the ptsd and ocd are disappearing it is quite amazing.
thanks for the reply and i’m glad it has worked for you too.
take care

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I have done CBT and if you ask me there is too much thinking involved - I am now practicing Mindfulness and I am really liking it! Mindfulness is more practical for me and relies on unwinding and distracting yourself - focusing on the now and your environment - It has strong roots in Buddhist philosophy - I have started to meditate and focus on my breathing, I find it very effective so far :pray:

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