Dear Gainesms:
At the risk of being an outlier (which I usually am) and merely being the mother of a newly diagnosed schizoaffective son, I will share my observations of him with respect to marijuana. First, I should disclose that I am a criminal defense lawyer and the previous posts regarding growing marijuana carrying more severe penalties than mere possession are correct, unless you live in a state with a provision for cultivation for personal medical use and have complied with whatever regulations have been put in place.
My 19-year old son was an occasional marijuana user prior to his illness, but it did not present any significant problems. Right before he began exhibiting positive symptoms, he got into some minor legal trouble and he had to abstain from marijuana use for a couple of months. Coincidentally, this is also when he began showing symptoms of psychosis. After his first hospitalization this past summer (due to a suicide attempt), he was unable to tolerate the medications upon returning home and quickly became manic and psychotic.
He started to tell me that he “needed” weed in order to control the voices and anxiety. In order to get it, he would literally harass anyone who he suspected of having some, and got ripped off a couple of times. He has an older brother with an autistic spectrum disorder who uses marijuana to maintain control of his emotions and maintain focus. I have been using for 35-years to treat my mood disorder and attention deficit disorder. Since I know how I and my older son benefit, I just gave in and began using it twice a day with him. Perhaps, I am biased, but I truly believe it helps him. He has less anxiety and can go with me on errands. His mood seems brighter and the bizarre behavior decreases.
Given the side-effects of anti-psychotic medications, which include death and tardive dyskinesia, I have a difficult time believing that marijuana is all that dangerous. No one dies from it. If it doesn’t agree with an individual, they should definitely abstain. But it seems irrational just to automatically dismiss its usefulness, just because some pharmacological company has not figured out how to extract the relevant substance into a processed form without losing its effectiveness, This is the only way they can make a profit. (Maybe that’s just coincidence too, but I doubt it.)
I suspect whether marijuana is effective for any physical or mental disorder is an individual matter. But I think just because it has “chemicals”, like all plants and most of the food you eat, not to mention the drugs most mentally ill people endure, doesn’t make it automatically “bad.”
Since you have a history of substance abuse, the biggest risk is overuse and abuse. Maybe your family can provide you small “doses” so you don’t have unfettered access.