I am supposed to now tell my case manager that my food stamps go for the whole house. I told her I hardly ever get a say in what we buy. I just wanted two things this time: a bag of chips and a 12 pack of pop. That’s it and my mother in law blew it completely out of proportion. She ambushed my partner as soon as she got home after working a 16 hour shift which she has to do again Sunday and Monday. To tell her I’ve been talking to my case manager behind their backs. It caused a huge fight. I just don’t care anymore. They get my money and food stamps and I go to the food pantry and half the time don’t get to keep any of it. If they go out to eat they lock the doors so I can’t get food so I’m constantly stuck eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or ramen noodles if I have even that in my apartment
Why can’t they get their own food stamps? Don’t they have some sort of disability or welfare money of their own?
You don’t deserve to be stomped on like that.
It’s YOUR food stamps, YOU should be able to decide what to do with them. If they are having problems of their own, they should apply for help themselves.
My father in law makes too much money, and my mother in law is too embarrassed to apply for disability on her own. She has fused veterbre in her neck.
I just give up, I don’t want to fight anymore just give my partner my whole check and let her sort it out. I’m not taking money from them either.
What does your partner do about the whole thing?
Is there any way you can talk to her about wanting/needing those food stamps for the two of you?
It can’t be a good feeling, not being able to decide over your own things like that.
She just wants to survive until she gets her nursing degree but that won’t be for a long time. She doesn’t know about the whole getting rid of my frog or anything like that. I texted her about it but she won’t answer until her first break
Refuse to hand over the snap card. If they already have it, call and report it stolen.
This is not right at all. That is your money, not theirs.
Ur right. But I just don’t care anymore
But you should care.
You can’t give up on happiness because it’s easier. You should fight for your right to be happy, because you deserve to be. Don’t let them walk all over you, they’re doing it because they can.
You’re an adult, and they have no right to take your money and lock you in the house.
I’m leaning a little towards what @SkinnyMe says today. I have great sympathy for you but there’s a lot of hours in a day to look for a better living situation and you must have a least an hour or two a day of free time to look for a way out of there. But it sounds like you’re not trying.The internet is an amazing tool and I can’t believe there is not a better situation out there for you that can find online.
You’re an adult, you can do what you want and go where you want (to a degree). The first time they started abusing you, you should have immediately gotten out of there that month. The first time you told a therapist how you are treated there that therapist or caseworker should have helped you to get out.
You’re not a helpless kid, you’re a grown adult who can make decisions to change your circumstances. I still have sympathy but you got to start using your head. You’re lucky like me in that you are able to sound rational and always make sense. You don’t sound delusional 80% of the time and you don’t spout nonsense. So use your brain to get out of there. If you stay there, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. In other words, your in-laws are
not going to change at all, it’s obvious to anybody who reads your posts that your in-laws are nasty mean people taking advantage of a situation. And that’s never going to change. The only thing you can change is you, to get out of there.
Are your in-laws telling you to do this? If so, they’re committing a crime by scheming to defraud the SNAP program.
This exactly. You really need to report to the SNAP program that your in-laws are taking your benefits.
Isn’t that a mis-use of food stamps? They are actually meant for the person who is receiving them.
I would say definitely tell your case manager as this will likely backfire big-time for your mother-in-law.
@cbbrown. Here is a link to the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA) website. You can select your state to get specific contact info. for your state.
http://www.napsa-now.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/
Here is a link to info about financial exploitation on the NAPSA website.
http://www.napsa-now.org/get-informed/what-is-financial-exploitation/
Yes, be careful, it’s possible that you could get in trouble too for knowingly letting your food stamps be used illegally.
I’ve said before I don’t want to make your situation worse or give you advice that is going to get you in trouble and make your situation even worse; but the law is the law.
Tell your case manager what is happening.
Just out of curiosity @cbbrown, how do you feel about the advice we give you? Does it help? Does it make you mad? Does it make things worse? All FEELINGS aside, what do THINK intellectually about what we tell you?
I was thinking about you and your situation before lunch an hour ago. And it brought something to my mind that may or not be true about you. In AA they say that the reason people don’t want to change their situations or their position, even when it’s really horrible is because to the addict, alcoholic (or anybody really) the situation may be horrible but at least it’s familiar. Changing your circumstances is the great unknown and a little frightening but the misery of current bad circumstances is familiar at least and in a weird way, safe. So people endure the bad relationship or job because at least you know what to expect. Do you think that maybe this is the reason that you are kind of balking at taking the steps you need to move out? This is what it seems like to me.
@cbbrown why do I see a big ■■■■■■ up situation here? I know I’m not the only one. Can you please answer @77nick77 questions so we know how to help you? 
I don’t know how to feel about anything right now TBH. I just lost all interest in fighting back. I know some stuff is my fault I told my case manager the truth about things I think about. like how I know my parents and my in-laws both just want me to exploit the food stamps and my SSI.
I told my partner how I just gave up and thought maybe my depressed mood and wanting to harm myself would be helped by going to the inpatient unit
That’s what partners are for. Yeah, maybe getting away for awhile in the hospital might be a good move. Then you can rest up and recuperate and get your fight back in you. I have nothing against you personally as you know. And my goal is not to attack you. I 'm sorry that I didn’t realize you were this close to feeling you needed to being hospitalized. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I’ve “lost my will to fight” many times. But luckily at the time I was already in a board & care home and after a good nights sleep my batteries recharged and I was able to pick up where I left off. But take care of yourself, you need some extra help and that’s fine. I wish you good luck and I hope you feel better soon.
I’m sorry @cbbrown but if you are thinking of harming yourself please go to ER now. Jasper and Kaisei will be okay. We care for you.