I think it’s a common problem we find ourselves in, to choose what we want to do regarding our life or what others want us to do. And in talking here mostly about stuff like work or productivity or whatever interferes with our mental health.
This happens to me to such a big extent that I’m not sure what I want anymore, to work or not.
IDK. Maybe takes some time alone away from others influence and contemplate your situation to come up with your answer?
Maybe you just need some alone time to think on it.
I am in the same position right now
Stuck between mental health who don’t seem interested now I helping me stay employed, and my parents expecting me to keep working
Honestly I don’t know what I am going to do
Over the lockdowns I have saved a lot of money as I worked really hard.
It’s a shame I am going to have to burn through my safety net to get help from the government
Have you thought of investing in your bank investments funds?
And quit work some years later then
I could try but know little about it
I totally get it. I trained as an artist for the longest time, and I think I only did it to get attention from others, and to escape into a fantasy world. When I got my first job, and worked for a year before college, I realized I hated the cubicle lifestyle, with a burning passion. I was so lonely. But I was missing social skills, and couldn’t fathom doing anything else. Also, I didn’t want to disappoint family members.
I got a diploma in graphic design (knowing I would hate the office life), but I failed to make it in that industry partly because I was too shy and sensitive, and partly the onset of schizophrenia which I think was caused by failing get a steady job and move out of my parents’ house. I don’t know how to drive (and shouldn’t be driving anyways) and it was too hard to be a freelancer because of this. Many of the print shops were located really far away.
People around me bashed any ideas I had to try another career, including my psychiatrist… many people suggested I go back into graphic design, but it will be a cold day in hell before I do that. I’d rather die, and I get so angry every time someone suggests I give it another go. Hell no.There’s so much failure tied to it, and people just don’t get it. They DO NOT get it. They still suggest I try it even after I pour my heart out about what happened to me! They’ll say, “Oh, Cloudy, all you need to do is learn from your mistakes” as if I’m completely bleeping stupid. My mistakes were caused by having a super shy personality, and having severe anxiety and paranoia, and blanking out all the time during conversations (and also the voices are a huge distraction), and having a terrible memory, not because I’m an idiot who can’t learn things.
The problem is, I have no idea what I want to do in part because I don’t believe I can do anything. I think going back to school with SZ would be too difficult at this point, and I might get stuck with a big debt and another career I hate, and can’t do because of the SZ.
Sorry, this turned out longer than intended.
Let it out all @anon40973946 you have been misunderstood for to long, Im here to listen. This helps you to let go
Thanks for the support. It helps to talk about it. 
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