Schizophrenia.com

Catch 22's


#1

So persecutory delusions work in that you usually get an idea that you are being persecuted for a reason, mine is for valid reasons. I really am sick and I really am dangerous. I’m a ■■■■■■■ buff schizophrenic trained in Krav maga. I start to think that I’m being watched for research purposes or because I am dangerous, but I actually am very highly functioning and am dangerous so it would make sense to watch me, BECAUSE I am these things and also schizophrenic. This ■■■■ just clouds my mind when it’s time for my medication and then it clears.

Who else has self fulfilling catch 22 delusions? I find it to be really hard to fight without medication. The illness had me before I got on meds. I just find it strange that my symtpoms are catch 22s.


#2

I can’t answer the question except to say, " No, I’M the Bombardier"!


#3

Just out of curiosity Mortimer, did you ever read Catch-22? If not, I would HIGHLY recommend it. It’s one of the funniest books I’ve read.


#4

It’s sort of persecutory. They just judge.


#5

Yeah for ap English I did. I loved it.


#6

Who’s they?..


#7

Everyone the telepaths. They probably watch everyone whose not. If they behave they leave them alone. This all set in for me when I acknowledged the possibility that were all bi. I have since gained some perspective. These people are straight as hell.


#8

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#9

I actually heard a near stranger say “oh I’m sure he’ll behave” I’m a good person so it’s whatever just have to live with it. They might decide to leave me alone after a while. They have to keep going for now though can’t blow their cover it has to seem like a disease. At least my voices are quieter.


#10

You could always look at it that there are 100s of thousands of other people highly trained to kill and are also smart and gifted and are quite likely not being researched or surveillanced. That could possibly give you a realistic perspective on the delusion


#11

Yeah, I’ve met some in my days. The thing is, they aren’t on medications or chronic paranoid schizophrenics. I do try to think my way through it, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.


#12

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#13

There was a former friend of mine, a paranoid schizo 10/10, for some reason he thought I was persecuting him. He was very smart, I’m sure he had a very high IQ. So, he started to act like I wanted to destroy his reputation and expose his misdeeds, although it was never my intention to demonize him. He saw an enemy where there was only an argumentative friend. My friendship was really sincere.

At some point, he wasn’t my friend anymore, he felt I was a big threat to him. Then, he felt righteous to carry out my character assassination. So, all that ■■■■ started: gossiping, lies, distortions of truth, badmouthing me to my friends. Until I discovered what was happening, I found out people thought I was evil while he was a victim . After 2 months of that crap, I realized there was no friendship with him and everything I talked was being used against me.

(many months later, they found out the real situation and tried reach me, tried to apologize etc, but since then I’ve been feeling permanently alienated from those friends because they did not believe me, earlier, at the time I’ve tried to tell them my version of the story)

Of course I fought back. Ive done many not very merciful things… For some weeks I was full time on psychopathic hate mode. Plain machiavellic. (I do not miss those days)

However, at some time, I realized that my paranoid delusions were making me unable to understand the real magnitude of the conflict. I was overreacting, so did he. We both acted on self-protection mode, and the circumstances have kept pushing me to a revengeful role. Fortunately, I’ve stopped playing my part when I’ve seen clearly that I was being a devil and that I could make things even more unfair towards him.

@mortimermouse, imagine if you had clues on some people who were potentially threatening your freedom (ie: self expression/of speak/of religious belief/of sexual behavior) and then you acted wrathfully on this belief? … Now imagine a group of (frightened) people - because of these same reasons… - together fighting a common enemy? Thankfully things like these do not happen on real life! ò.O

However, btw you may disregard everything I wrote above as a disinformation attempt of an undercover agent on this forum, trying to dispel your insecurities and get you confortable. But for sure I would not say that if these were my real intentions, Would I? :smirk_cat:


#14

That’s just confusing


#16

@mortimermouse

I’m sorry that I could not made my point understandable in English.

It did make perfect sense in Portuguese (my mother language). Lol.