Age 15 I decided that I wanted to join the FBI. At age 21 I got my AA hoping that would be enough. No it wasn’t. Now i’m in my 30’s saying “what do I want to be when I grow up”? 
You’re further along than me when I was in my thirties. I was suffering from major depression, and I was just having an existential crisis. I tried not to think about the future. When I was thirty-seven, after my involuntary hospitalization, I realized that I needed to go to college. Now I’m forty-one, and I’m just trying to get my bachelor’s degree.
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Well, I certainly didn’t want to be this (SZ) when I grew up.
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perhaps make a list of things that you like and are interested in and go from there.
take care
I’m working part-time and on ssdi. Both of my therapists have told me to only work part-time as full time work will be too much stress and I will relapse. I can’t afford another relapse. I am taking a class in Psychosocial Rehabilitation to enhance my job skills.
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I am recovered on meds so its easier for me. But when I wasnt on this perfect med regiment I had trouble with goals. I did well in school but not as well as I could have and exercised without knowing what I was doing and eventually got a bad injury from squatting without warming up.
Well you’re grown and it’s not too late to have some kind of career or job. Maybe not the FBI though. But it’s better to start trying at 30 years old then to start at age 40. You’re still young.