Sorry for the long post, I know they can be a bore to read.
I’m losing my mind when I try talking with my parents (mother because father is always absent from the discussion). It always ends up in an argument. I’m locked up in my room all day with occasional visits to the garden now that it is still summer and have nobody else to relate to. But when I try to have an interaction and share my feelings she asks “What can I do?!” and, obviously I don’t know, just be empathic but she thinks she is and then starts the blame game. I start blaming them for everything and things end up in a big mess.
Then she says “Oh. I’m going to have a talk with your doctor.” Jesus I’m not a retard nor a child, I’m 33 and having difficulty not having people to talk to in real life. I don’t see nothing in the horizon. I have no faith nor could I pray all day if I had it. I need somebody on my side, besides therapy that I cannot afford and most therapies out here for free are crap. Tried one for free and it was crap. This one that I am is like with other family members as well and makes me feel uncomfortable. Just crap talk. I’m at a breaking point and unable ATM to do anything to get out there and create a life for myself.
Ps: I know there is no solution to this. People are what they are.
My elderly father lives with me - he keeps asking me if he can talk to my therapist - he is concerned and curious.
I decided today that I am going to include him in family sessions with my therapist - once a month, I will invite him with me to talk to my therapist - this way he feels included, after all I live with him and he is the creator of my special needs trust fund.
Maybe you can have family therapy sessions, if you are seeing a therapist - it might be beneficial
I’m having group “family therapy sessions” with other families. The other families are going to leave therapy now (and I don’t see them in a good state) and make room for us and another family. My parents hardly participate in the discussions there, they remain quiet and I don’t feel comfortable with the approach the therapist has and I don’t feel safe there.
When my mother said she’s going to see the doctor (psychiatrist, not therapist) is just to tell on me, on my behaviour. And that is what gets me mad. All this blame and victim game. Forgive and forget should start from the ones that are well enough to do it rather than the ones that are in much more difficult positions.
Communicating with parents can be difficult. My father is someone who likes to hear positive news all the time and switches off when it comes to discussing less positive stuff. My mother was someone who if you told her something heavy or serious she would tend to want to make a personal drama out of your crisis. That gave her an excuse to drink in her mind.
Especially when first ill if I didn’t adhere to my mum’s way of thinking it would be “Are you taking your pills?” or " I think you are getting ill again?" . Both rather restricted the flow of conversation.