Sometimes I want to hug my mother as I see my brothers do it, but I can’t its too hard, I find it impossible to do or to show affection. Its like if I am allergic to affection.
I sometimes, maybe two or three times a year hug my son. My daughter is out of the picture right now and usually will say she doesn’t want to be touched when she is in the picture. I have hugged my ex a few times in the past year or so. That’s about it. I have a friend that hugs on me but I really should be staying away from her and her influences.
Yeah. That’s something uncomfortable for you.
But why is it? 15
What bothers you about doing it? Maybe if you can pinpoint that, you can get to the why.
Its uncomfortable.
For example: I don’t like to hug my mother because I don’t like her. People I love, I want to hug and love all over them – but that’s just me and my reasons.
Right. But WHAT is the discomfort? That’s what I’m saying. Get to that, and it may help you understand.
I feel like crying inside so I don’t like hugs.
What’s the crying about?
Wouldn’t you find a hug soothing, then?
About nothing, just happens and random.
Ok. So how does that cause affection discomfort? I’m not putting the two together. I don’t see it.
I hate crying. Its uncomfortable.
Do you feel vulnerable, which is scary?
Not scary just sad.
So I’m assuming you don’t want people to get close to you because you don’t like feeling vulnerable?
Maybe not sure. If so what is it?
It’s not uncommon. Lots of people are that way. When you let yourself be vulnerable, you open yourself up to being hurt, because you are exposing parts of yourself, and entrusting them to others. So not wanting to hug might be a protective mechanism.
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