Hello, it took me a while to accept having paranoid schizophrenia. My aunt has schizophrenia, I dont know how bad, my family tries to avoid talking about it, and theytreat her like a disabled person. Absolutely wrong, bad choice on their part. They are unhealthy. My mother treats her like she is strange. So, of course, I developed a fear of having schizophrenia, as I started to develop more and more anxieties in the past year or two. I suffer from episodes, or attacks, where I am dead sure that I am talking outloud uncontrollably, and that my thoughts are spewing out of my mouth. Ive always had this kind of suspicion that people could read my thoughts, but when I was younger I would ignore that thought and remind myself it is because I am self conscious of my classmates judging me.
So, I don’t know how I will be able to tell my mother about this, without something terrible happening that doesnt help me. I do not want medication, or typical treatment. Many therapists that i see are TERRIBLE and I fear that this will NOT be takne lightly and Ill be forced to do things that make me more anxious. I just need to get help so that I can work out my anxieties and sotp having these heart attack inducing uncontrollable thoughts that cripple me and cause me to leave class often or to even sotp talking and hold my mouth down when im with friends.
Im seeig someone for depression, I fear telling her the truth. I havent told anybody. I thought this was a good place to connect to others. I fear my therapist will judge me and not take this calmly. She already tries to fight me on things I believe, and doesnt treat me like an adult.
I really fear it worsening. Not the specific thoughts out loud thoughts that I have SEVERAL TIMES accepted to be not true. ONLY to have them come back and when it happens,
I REALLY believe th ethoughts. I do. I need help in this aspect. Can I stop believing the thoughts? It seems uncontrollable, the most Ive done and im really impressed is that I calmed down and they went away but tis hard because of my fear of being ill causes the thoughts to loop endlessly. I wonder if anyone notices.
I fear having hallucinations. I think under the influence of marijuana I am likely to have these problems more also, so I do not consume anymore. Marijuana made me had my firs of these episodes. I should have stopped. But depression caused me to turn to a substance.
I get anxiety of how scayr it would be to hear a voice or see something. Its so backwards. I induce the schizphrenia onto myself. I had a fear of this and then developed it. Now I fear my fear will bring on my fear. Silly. Fear brings on a fear of itself, but I am working on accepting my health now, and breathing in trust and compeltely fogetting fear. Simply not having fear of my fear. Anyways, sound like anybody else? What can i do about my fear of this worsening into more severe symptoms? Stop having the fear sounds like a first. I am trying to currently remind myself I dont have that bad of a fear of this. Great. Im not helpng myself.
