About a year ago I had a delusion that I was being stalked by everyone and believing cameras were in my room. I think that I might’ve heard voices about as long as 1.5 years ago, but they didn’t consistently happen until the beginning of July.
I got myself into a mental hospital in July because I denied the fact that I could be schizophrenic and believed that the voices originated from a chip implanted in my head that gave people the ability to go through my memories, access my thoughts, speak to me through my mind (as in if someone was speaking into a mic and sending that audio to my head), see what I was viewing in real time, and also tracking my location. I ended up listening to the voices because they told me in exchange for listening to them I would figure out who they (the voices) were and how to remove the chip so that the voices could stop and I could have my privacy/life again.
Now that I realize that I’m probably schizophrenic (currently self-diagnosing that I am). I’m not really sure what can make my situation worse. I realize that the voices aren’t real, technology that allows people to speed run my memories and listen to my thoughts and talk to me via the chip isn’t viable with current technology.
I keep reading that weed is not good for people with schizophrenia, but I’m really tempted to smoke weed. What is the worst that could happen if I’m now aware the voices aren’t real? Will it just make the voices louder and more frequent?
I’ve only experienced one visual hallucination the night I started hearing voices (saw flashes of light and a transparent figure of a person running toward me and “disappearing into my head” before I felt a zap in my head.
The night I started hearing voices (the same night I saw the visual hallucination) I smoked some weed and watched “The Irishman”. I’ve had a bad thing with gore, where it causes me stress if I see something really ■■■■■■ up. In this movie, there’s a scene where some character gets his face dismantled by a drill and for a solid minute you just see his face getting shredded by this drill with all the blood splattering everywhere. I think that scene might’ve also played a part in me hearing voices because it really ■■■■■■ me up that night. I can’t really say for sure because there were too many variables in play that one night (stress from delusion of persecution, weed, and the stress from the gore).
I took risperidone for about a month and also received one injection of risperdal consta in July, but have not since taken any medication.
What’s the worst that can happen to me now if I smoke some really weak weed with a combination of cbd?
Out of curiosity, in the mental hospital I was offered to take the injection and be monitored on how I would react to it before being released ( I was being given oral risperidone each day when they offered this). If I denied wanting to take the injection would they have forced me to stay longer or would I have been able to take the oral risperidone and still be let go?