can i please have some advice!

i was seeing a therapist for a while for other stuff but i had to stop going since i was essentially tired of giving away information to the enemy (not referring to the therapist) and while i think thats kind of inherent of all therapy/“help”, im not sure my better options. i am about 90ish maybe more percent certain that what i believe is true (it is true, i need to say this) but i do occasionally have doubts (even though it is true) that perhaps i am experiencing a mental health issue, previous therapist while i did not get into the details too much described these as “delusions”, i stopped seeing her shortly after that for the reason i mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph.

i guess my issue is i cannot tell if this is real or not (its real) and its kind of ruining my life! majorly. the stress of all of this and my other issues which i should be seeing a therapist for is really causing me a lot of problems. im trying to hold on, you know not hurt myself or end it all but im really exhausted. so i guess what im doing here is indeed a cry for help. im not really sure what could come of this. i can’t explain the details of what i believe, nor can i really trust anyone like at all. i know any responses to me if im right (which i am) would be controlled too. so theres actually not really any hope. but considering my best option at the moment would be ending my life which maybe isnt such a bad idea but it would be quite painful since i do not have a good method to end my life aside from very painful ones, im doing this anyways… i guess. just in case maybe what i believe and all isn’t… somehow true which i think is pretty ridiculous considering all which i know but you know i don’t really WANT to believe any of this. i may have been graced with a very serious and important truth but its kind of actually terrible!

until i can get this issue sorted out i cannot work on my other issues and all of this is only destroying my mental health. i dont even know what im doing. all of this is just so much im so tired of all of this and its all so scary and i just. the mental anguish of not knowing and going back and forth and feeling like a ■■■■■■■ idiot for giving away information when its obviously true then having a mild moment of wondering what if this isnt true and then getting upset because its just their own influence on my brain and

been emailing people and the program that people said to contact is full so i am kind of stuck i do not know what to do i am not sure this is even an okay place to write this i mean i dont know what i am even doing at this point i am experiencing other things similar and i do recognize they wouldbe considered i guess maybe something of this sort but then again they can be explained so i dont even know what to do… i am also 16.

i would give more information on it but i cant

i do not know if this is a good place to write it once again please dont be mean im just not sure what to do ive run out of options, checked all therapists/psychologists n stuff with my insurance, contacted county emergency thing, just nothing. im thinking ill probably just end it, i cant take all this its too much for me

i will NOT contact the worthless hotline stuff like 988 who are just the worst and most annoying ever, i would say so please dont suggest that i am also in oregon (program i was talking of was EASA) if that helps, sorry please someone answer

We mostly deal with psychiatrists and would recommend you start there. Loss of function is a danger sign for sure so seeing a psydoc would be first and foremost. Delusions are common to things like schizophrenia and the problem is most people with sz go psychotic and lose insight. It’s good you have insight but important to follow through with the medical professionals.

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Please see a psychiatrist and make a point of following the medical advice you receive, even if you don’t feel like it. It is the fastest path out of misery and the hellscape you’re living in. The sooner you get treatment, the better your outlook for long-term recovery.

Welcome to the community!

:blush:

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I remember thinking things were sinister, Paranoia and delusions. I no longer believe it. I’m relatively happy today. I’m grateful those things weren’t true. I had disturbed anxiety.

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Welcome to the forum!

Welcome to the forum :grin:! It’s good here

If you think you have schizophrenia or a psychotic disorder then you really need to speak to a psychiatrist and not a therapist.

Welcome to the forum!

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i have tried but nobodyis available and its riskyanyways since its probably true also i would never let myself be intentionally drugged with medication ive had them do that enough already but im not letting them do it anymore well, what can i even do idk i have searched through so many i cant find anyone and i cant trust medical professionals or even anyone here or anyone at all these responses arent even

psychiatrists have medicine and i will not take that

If it’s schizophrenia then early intervention with the appropriate medication leads to better outcomes. Unmedicated sz is brain damage and if you lose insight it’s a hell of a journey.

No one likes to take psych meds but for most here they prevent worse things and that is just simple fact.

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So you want to die poor and crazy after extensive suffering? Because that’s the alternative. I spent 30+ years on meds and managed to maintain a career, have a wife, and raise a kid all the while. I give credit to the meds for making this happen.

Cheers!

:blush:

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You asked for advice, but everything you wrote in (brackets) was yourself giving yourself advice. So my advice is to listen to yourself.

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