So… Here goes…
My boyfriend and I are both excited to start a life together.
We are making plans and looking for a place.
I am absolutely certain that this is the right thing. He is my world and I want to be with him always and forever. And, more than anything I want to make him happy.
The problem is, I am afraid that he will not be able to handle me at my worst times… He has only witnessed minor episodes… I once had an anxiety attack and it hurt him because he thought that I didn’t want to be with him… And I tried to explain what was wrong… But I am not very good at that… We eventually went on with our day and I told him how sorry I was, he forgave me, and said everything was okay he just will need me to help him understand so he knows how he can help.
Background info/ Diagnoses
- PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)
- GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
- Social Phobia
- Schizoaffective Disorder, bipolar type
These cause me many problems that I have a hard time dealing with even by myself.
I am just terrified that I will be too much for him to handle and he will decide that he did not sign up for this.
Is it possible for this to work? Can he really love me despite everything? I don’t want to hurt him… I want him to have a beautiful life… Preferably with me in it…
Any input would be greatly appreciated.