Can anyone relate to this

When I fancy a guy intensely,

I feel very sensitive to if I ever feel them give me attitude even if just once or twice.

It gets highlighted in my mind.

And I get so scared that all the love they showed is a lie because of those rare occasions where I feel so low from the attitude I’m given.

How can I grow a thicker skin or is my resulting fear of them justified ie is those rare moments of attitude their true colours coming through.

I wish I could just roll it off and focus on the positives more than I was.

It’s like I get alarm bells ringing.

Can you describe what you mean by “give [you] attitude”? Are they saying something rude? Being a bit sassy? Making a comeback to a joke? Disagreeing with you? There’s a huge range here, and I don’t want to misinterpret.

1 Like

There are two instances that stick in my mind.

One is where I was blamed entirely for something that wasn’t just my responsibility. But his too.
I vented to him about that but he didn’t apologise. Though his behaviour did change regarding that subject.

The other, we were meant to give each other space. I messaged him 3 messages then deleted them on watsapp. Because we weren’t meant to be talking but was tempted to. That lead to him responding with huh? And talking on watsapp that day. I reminded him at the end of the day that I needed space. And he responded with ‘stop talking to me then’. I found it really made me feel low the way he spoke that on watsapp…

I don’t know much about the first situation, but the second sounds like you were jerking him around, tbh. I’m sorry to say that. But you started a conversation after requesting space. You talked to him after initiating it. Then you told him no talking. I wouldn’t have liked that either. I think his response was appropriate in that situation. He wasn’t cruel or rude. Sorry, Slothy. I wanted to take your side no matter what. Instead, I’ll give you all the free internet hugs you want.


I’m going to have to agree with @Happy_H . It’s almost like you were setting him up.


But I deleted the messages. Idk I guess I should have stopped the conversation at huh?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It upset me a lot the way he spoke.

Even if I was the one in the wrong.

If I were him I would have red flags.


OK but I definitely didn’t mean to annoy him on purpose. I just feel like I get hurt too easily by his anger or frustration towards me.

It’s not good match is it

Honestly you might not be a match for anyone if such a thing is leaving you feeling like something was done to you. I’m sorry but if you can’t see how your behavior was not good in this case you need a little more time to grow and gain confidence before you get into a serious relationship with another person. I’m not saying that to be rude and there’s nothing wrong with that, everyone is ready at different times.


When I’m in a non intense relationship this kind of hurt doesn’t happen.

It’s when I’m in intense relationships then this hurt happens.

I do think I was in the wrong with the continuing talk thing. But his response upset me. Idk why…

But the first example where he blamed me without talking responsibility himself too, and rolling his eyes emoji and such was not nice. I wasn’t in the wrong to be upset there.

You can try dating yourself. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but I like weird. :wink:
Basically, learn more about yourself, spend time doing things you enjoy, and just start loving you more. You deserve a healthy relationship, but it has to start with you.



Maybe I should forget about him…

Oh dear.

It’s not easy.

I’ll explain this to him first to see what he thinks…

It’s just I’m afraid of more upset reactions from him.

Well there is reason why direct action is a valid thing in collective human culture…

It’s difficult… Indeed seemingly impossible…

But if you wonder if someone is thinking something or feeling some just ask…

It feels like breaking worlds but its actually better to just do… You just ask “am I fool for thinking your interested”

Or even confession if you feel like its mainly you desiring a situation of attraction… People like confidence …

I deal with girls who are flirting with everyone… Do they mean any of it? No… They’re just trying to establish familiarity and confidence with their own character.

So some dude could likely be doing the same


I don’t really know what I mean exactly by him giving me attitude. Sorry maybe it’s the wrong term.

I should just say when he gives me upset reactions.

Yea I need to be more direct with him about when I feel hurt so that he understands maybe this is not good for me to be in a relationship

Or maybe he would have some good advice idk

I do try to say so when I can if I feel upset but not enough.

If you’re in a relationship then asking for honesty is only right.

This doesnt sound severe or abusive so like keep yourself in check and be patient

But if you wind up overall unhappy and your partner doesnt care… Then thats when you should start getting more nervous/active

Beyond that they’re prolly just timid/scared/hiding… And that should be respected


We are only friends but idk what kind of friends we are.

Thanks for your opinion.

I’m going to take that on board.

And everyone else.

He’s an amazing guy but something just doesn’t feel right atm, and me and him need to figure that out together if he wants to, or else it’s best we don’t talk.