Nothing is necessary, anything can be granted in the here and now, yet we keep calculating, judging, working through our desires in space and time which are themselves creations of the mind.
Recently I have desired a whole list of things which I can’t afford all at once. Thus I need to budget as I dare not ask for them directly. I have never asked for money from anyone except when I was in debt or broke. I live within my means generally speaking, but since having these desires I have started spending wildly, believing that money is meaningless.
Either I accept that I will have to budget because I can’t afford these things, or I accept that these things will come to me as grants to my wishes, but this is a false dichotomy, because money is finite.
The nature of money is that it is finite, created yes, but finite nevertheless, thus one always has to budget.
Creations cannot create anything, only the uncreated can give rise to creation, potential leading to manifestation.
How can I budget for what is beyond my means?
So I might of overspent this week, had to pay for repairing my laptop, repay my mum a loan she gave me, buy some plants for my washroom, buy my brother a birthday present and send some books in the post. I should be ok if I’m disciplined. Now all I have to focus on is having enough to pay for my shiatsu classes by May.
So I did overspend this week, had to borrow the money back from my mum again. There’s still five days to go including today. Trying not to spend anything today. Got some food stocks, but would really rather save them for a rainy day as well. This financial mess has really come about from desiring more than I already have. I should not complain about being a ward of the state. Fear of poverty is apparently one of the diseases of the heart, as is heedlessness and recklessness. Everything will be alright, I don’t know if I need to learn shiatsu even at this stage. It is just a desire. Thank you.
So the only thing I bought today was tobacco. Money is tight until Monday, even with the extra my mum has leant me. I’m still obsessed with buying books, but not reading enough of the ones I have already. I need to have enough for my shiatsu in May, even if I don’t do it in the end. Budgeting is about being prepared. Thank you.
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