Brother jail, sister pregnant, mom beaten all in one day

I just wanted to share my past couple days which have been equally horrific and blessed. I spend most my time at my moms house though I have my own place. My anosognosic schizophrenic brother lives with my mother. The other night around 4:00am I was smoking in the garage and my brother locked the door. I went around and came through the front. As I walked the straight path to the den, my brother, on the other side of the kitchen said,”Don’t you ■■■■■■■” something(Didn’t hear the last part). I glanced up for a split second feeling that my demeanor and behavior was innocuous. I must have done something in his eyes cause out of nowhere he snapped, picked up what turned out to be a coffee mug and threw it hitting me in the back shattering on the floor. He told me to gtfo so I told him frantically I’m leaving let me grab my things. I hurriedly started gathering my stuff as he came into the room. Somehow I ended up on my back on the couch while my brother standing over me with the most insane affect saying he was going to kill me. I had no doubt he meant it. On my back on the couch I was able to keep him off me with my kicks. I was able to jump up and face him. He picked up a wooden tray again saying and looking intent that he was going to kill me. There was no break during this, it was a continuous relentless assault. When he swung the tray I stepped towards him deflecting it with my left forearm. I stepped back and he punched me knocking off my glasses. My mom ended up getting in between me and my brother and she was able to stall the attack for a bit. I hurriedly grabbed my bag while my mom was telling me to get out. When I was rushing out my brother told my mom he was going to kill her. At this point I feel I should’ve
tried to take him out but I didn’t. Something similar has happened before and I don’t go far and come back to get my mom out of there. This time though as I got into my car next to the garage is a window where I can see in. I was witnessing my brother trying to get around my mom, but she was able to keep at bay. My brother then pushed my mom backwards off the step into her car and floor. I said “oh ■■■■” and witnessed him raise his fist to start hitting her. The look he had and seeing him do that to our mother was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen. My mom was screaming while I frantically found my emergency break and jumped out my car. I ran into the garage in like a tunnel vision with no other concern but getting to my mom. My mom thinks my brother might have seen me I don’t remember seeing him and he had gotten back in the door inside. My brother had hit her 3 or 4 times in the head and kicked her in the ribs. She had blood on her clothes and running down her face. She was able to get up. My mom said my brother was looking out the window in the door after he went in. I think I saw the back of his. We made it to my car and gtfo of there. We called 911 and parked the car behind a Subway to wait for the police. My mom ended up being taken to the hospital and I drove followed by the police back to my moms. This wasn’t the first time Ive led a police escort to apprehend my brother(he pulled a gun and was threatening a friend riding with us in the McDonald’s drive through at 2:00am). My mom ended up getting four staples in her head, a broken rib, and a broken collarbone. I ended up with a cut/bruise on my forearm, head, and back. My mom was protecting me and got the worst of it. I’ve thought of many ways I could have handled the situation or done something different. Honestly we’re lucky no one was killed. The day before I confiscated some bowie sized knives my brother had placed on the table we smoke next to. It was getting scary the past couple weeks and me and my mom sensed it. My brother told my mom that me and her were sucking the life out of him and I smoke the life out of him. My brother is now in jail. We can’t involuntarily commit him until he goes through the justice system. It scares me and feels awful that my brother in his condition is back in jail. We’ve been dealing with my brother and this kind of stuff for around ten years now. I have a million stories of guns, destroyed houses, brother ending up in jail, stealing, strange behavior. It’s sad to say but it’s a relief knowing he’s locked up and can’t get to anyone in our family. My family is gonna get better locks and my mom and I may get a restraining order. The good news is I found out this morning that my younger sister who was told in her teens that she could never get pregnant is 9 weeks pregnant and the baby looks good. Other stuff has been going on around my moms, broken sewer pipe from tree, her air conditioning shorted out due to power line flickering from bad connection. We got the electricity shut off before more damage could happen. One neighbor wasn’t so lucky. So for a bit I’m gonna be helping my mom during recovery. Stuff really hit the fan and all within a couple days. Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading this. it’s been a crazy couple days.

I feel some guilt and shame that I wasn’t able to keep my mom from getting injured like she did. Idk what would of happened if I wasn’t still there during the attack on my mom. Even if I just parked down the street there may have been enough time for something absolutely terrible to take place. It was shocking to witness my brother looking like he did when he beat my mom. He beat up my older sister a few years ago when she attempted to fill out social security papers. Luckily she just had bruises on her head. Me and my mom have been living hyper vigilant for a while. It’s not a fun way to live. And not many understand the extent or the stuff that you deal with with my brother.

The doctor that treated my mom said a lot of times this stuff escalates until someone is dead.

A crazy thing is my mom got a call from the bail bondsman saying that my brother wanted her to bail him out to come home. Like he didn’t just beat the ■■■■ out of her.

Not a good thing. I’m glad you and your mum have survived…domestic violence is something that can escalate quickly for sure.

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Hey @ericsbat - you can’t really take the blame for this. It’s your brother who was out of line here, not you or your mother or anyone else.

I am sorry it has ended with him in jail, but it sounds like from what you say he couldn’t control himself.

Restraining order sounds like a good idea in this example, as I don’t think he will change if it has been going on like this for ten years.

Unfortunately these things happen. Even though he’s your brother, he’s not acting like it

Even in my darkest days, I knew that attacking my own mother was way past the line, and there is no excuse for it in my book

Congrats on the baby on its way to your family

:mending_heart:

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You are going to be an Uncle! And your Mom is going to be a Grandma! All the rest of this will fade with time as you all heal.

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Thanks for the support. It means a lot and is very helpful. I am already an uncle of a 10 yr old boy and six year old girl from my older sister. I’m the Godfather of the boy, my nephew. I told my mom this morning after my sister showed us the ultrasound that she is a proper grandmother. For some reason with my little sister as well as my older sister both having kids gave me a feeling of a whole family or something I can’t explain. I’ve never felt this stoked about pregnancy news. I’m really happy for her.

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Maybe going to jail will teach your brother a much needed lesson. Beating his own mother is the lowest of lows. He has proved (several times over it sounds like) that he should not be living there. Seems like your mom could get a court order to have him kicked out. He won’t like it but he’s going to be an angry person whether he’s living there or not so he may as well not be there. What’s he doing beating on women anyways? He’s got something wrong with him if he is hitting women.

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Sounds like he gets away with a lot of stuff because you guys let him.

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Yeah he’s very sick. It was unreal when he attacked my mom. It was the most shocking thing I’ve ever seen. He came out of prison to live with my mom. She became his guardian. She handles his disability finances. He’s always said he’s not sick meaning schizophrenic, but multiple doctors and my family confirm to me that he is. The few times I was able to get him to talk about stuff it was way out there and reminded me of my beliefs during my psychosis’s. I always told or pleaded with him to try meds. Hes been to hospitals but they drop him off on the curb after two weeks with meds and a treatment plan he never follows. I mean we have tried everything. One time my mom literally stood by a doorway. I noticed she was up to something. And she kinda rubbed his back and was able to gently get his pants down and stuck him with an abilify injection prescribed to him. Yeah we give him a lot of slack, but you can barely talk to him. We just wanted to keep him off the streets or out of jail. Those were the options. We give him space and put up with a lot. It’s done now as far as living with him. I have no idea what the future holds for him and us, but we’re working on it as far as what to do with him.

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Thanks for the support. What you said makes a lot of sense and was helpful.

Well, it’s your family and it’s up to you what you do about him. Your mom was lucky she wasn’t hurt worse than she was or killed, next time someone could get badly hurt or actually killed. He’s an adult, which means he is responsible for himself. And he’s being pretty ungrateful to turn on the people who are helping him. Maybe you gotta just let him go and let him sink or swim. I heard one place that isn’t a good method to use on schizophrenics though. It sounds like you’ve given him a lot of chances-and look how he repaid you.

It’s a tough situation but he has to learn the hard way he can’t beat on his family. You have to look out for yourselves, he understands he shouldn’t be hitting anyone, especially women. He knows it’s wrong. But like I said, he’s probably used to you guys letting him get away with this stuff. He knows what he can get away with. You don’t owe it to him to let him hit you or lay his hands on you.

You’re mostly right. There was a time when we let him go. He ended up homeless then in prison. My mom agreed to take him in once he got out. You’re right though. We let him get away with a lot. He wouldn’t listen and literally seemed to not give a ■■■■ about his actions. It got to the point of sighing some apathy and disbelief. I’ve seen a similar reaction from a mother of a schizophrenic that wouldn’t listen stay in bed all day preoccupied. It’s a difficult situation.

We don’t know what the next step will be, but none of my family is taking him in. We’re looking for a place for him like group home, but he has a record. It’s sad af but if he shows up at my place or my moms I’ll just call the cops.

Well, he made his bed; let him lay in it. He put himself in jail.

Like I said, he knows that he can get away with stuff. I mean this is a different situation than just having a schizophrenic son who won’t do chores or take a shower. Physically assaulting people is serious and should be a deal breaker and he should not be given the opportunity to hurt you guys anymore than he already has. Sounds like you’ve given him every chance and like Joker said, he’s not going to change, and in fact things sound like they have gotten worse and escalated. And might get worse. I don’t have a solution except to get him out of there. Get him in some halfway house or something for people who have been in prison. Maybe in a couple years after he proves he can control himself you can let him back in your life.

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Thanks for your input nick. My mom told me she’s been getting frightened by sounds around the house thinking it’s my brother. I’ve also noticed that I don’t feel so much like I got to be on alert or it’s starting to wear off a little. I’m talking being sensitized to keep an eye out. I’ll look or see movement and that’s starting to dissipate. The dogs seem better too.

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It got really bad these last two weeks. Both my mom and I mentioned that my brother was getting scary. Oddly enough my sister and dad had a similar conversation as well.

Well, I wish your family good luck. Ten years is a long time. Speaking of sensitizing, you guys have probably been through so much bad stuff with your brother that you’re desensitized to his actions. Like it’s just normal to your family that he is going to cause trouble.

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Thanks. It was something we looked out for. No one could trust what he was going to do. Mostly it wasn’t dangerous, but he was usually pretty scary. Hopefully we can all heal a little.

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