I napped on the couch 
What news have you to share?
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Details are sketchy but reports say jimbob had a pork sandwich
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I wiped down the kitchen table and washed the place mats. All that excitement probably took 5 years off my life. Film at 11:00.
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Like @anon94176359 ’s report, details are sketchy, but my cat has had her breakfast I believe. We’re still waiting on more information
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Gasping in suspense
Did you snore? Did you drool? I wanna know the gory details!!!
Not much new with me. Just being threatened by some pipsqueak who’s staying in the apartment above me. And I got a couple new shirts earlier at the thrift shop. 
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What an astonishing coincidence – My little dog is also napping on the couch. 
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Breaking news- human buys blended dirty chai from local coffee shop, no incidents occurred.
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Sorry, I only trust the mainstream media. 
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Man almost falls asleep at the wheel and collapses into bed with exhaustion, 1 hour later after 2 packs of wine gums he sits out back and reads his new book, what a miraculous turn around
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Secret sources have reported that some forum members have been reading and responding to threads in nightwear
Others are demanding a full investigation into the matter and demanding stricter dress rules in the forum 
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I have a pretty good bit of sunburn. Roxanna gets out of apartment News flash. Lol
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In other news a car was ran over by a Skunk. All passengers were nearly killed instantly. No names are being released pending notification of family members.
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I went into the kitchen and forgot why I went there, again.
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I said this on another post but I will say it again I had roast duck and squid for lunch lol
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Sounds like more roadkill for the bag.
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Latest news in - Had a chicken dhansak yesterday - and the toilet bowl knew about it this morning! lol.
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Breaking news——I’ve had no sleep.
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My breaking news!! I’m watching the football. My partner’s team is playing. Only early but they’re in front by one point.
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THIS JUST IN:
Sources have said that spider pig has hung her washing out to dry
We reached out to Spiderpig and she declined to comment
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POPCORN SCAM
Beware People when buying microwave popcorn !!! 11 of the kernels DID NOT POP in the package I just had 
I was shorted 11 popcorns
Further details on the scam @ 6PM
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