Break through symptoms... anxiety vs. calm

Continuing the discussion from Question to anyone that knows of episodes while on medication:

I didn’t want to completely take over @pattywagon1 thread.

I’m really glad you’ve been fighting and keeping your self moving forward.

It’s a very disjointed feeling for me at times when I’m not doing well… I’m having a serious glitch… but I take the valium and the body starts to calm down, but the mind is still racing.

I like the fact that I’m not loosing it completely… but for a while… that tense mind… calm body is a little hard to sort through. That’s also when I can barely concentrate.

I get really impatient with myself… I almost wish ALL of me was on one side or the other. that half here… half there feeling makes a bit much.

I have been noticing that the voices… the hallucinations… they get really benign when I’m not anxious. If I’m in a good mood… what I’m hearing in my head is in a good mood too… it’s been getting odd.

@SunGirl I was wondering if you had any hints… how to get through that “in-between” feeling?

For now… I have to almost just sweat it out.

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My voices always drag me into the same ■■■■■■■■. Thoughts with feelings attached. It’s been so repetitive though that I’ve become desensitized. I wish they would become more positive. I get an occasional this is awesome. Ultimately it’d be best if they just went away. They like to play like they are real people esp when I start thinking that they are. It’s just so ■■■■■■■ pointless I’ve learned my lesson I know who I want to be and how I want to operate. It’s just gonna take time to get there. I’m allowing this telepathy ■■■■ to change me into a better person. I’m starting to rant so I’ll cut this off.

I’m glad that your head space can be pleasing.


I’m glad you’ve been finding a way to get around this and keep going. You sound like you’ve been feeling better.

The few hits of thought broadcasting I’ve had… really made it hard for me to get through my day… thinking that my head was an open book for all to see.

But I feel a little lucky in that… I was able find ways to keep telling myself that what is in my head… no one can see or judge.

For me it’s some of the delusions that make my day hard.

That sneaky brained thinking just starts slow… and then it’s snowballed before I realize that what I’m upset about isn’t even happening.

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Yeah delusions of thought broadcasting are the worst. It makes everybody seem like perfect people because they all get a long. I go through phases where I don’t believe it’s real and those are typically good days but I always end up playing the game of it to see if I can live up to this ideal that has been established for me as to what a human should be. There is just a major drought of activity and stuff to think about in my life.