I don’t know why I’m here. It’s frustrating. My gums have been incessantly itching for the past week and it’s terrible. As I was walking someone asked me “Have you ever experienced your body rotting while still alive?” I said “Leave me alone. Haven’t you done enough? Haven’t you done enough?”
I ordered cookies because food is one of the few good things in the physical realm. But mainly my gums are so itchy and I’ve been grinding my teeth and scraping at them because I can’t stand it. First it’s urinary retention and now that that’s finally being resolved this pops up? My body is rotting. What a mess. I’m sick of this body. Having a body is nothing but a hindrance.
Today was fine until I panicked on my exam when the professor called out the time we had left and I blanked and forgot things I would have otherwise definitely known. I was very upset and Gloria and Thomas were comforting me, telling me it wasn’t the end of the world. But lately everything I have experienced is coming rushing back to me again and again like it used to, like an endless movie reel of my life played over and over. I’m just so itchy. My foot, my face, my gums the worst. I’m mad I didn’t do well on that exam. I’m confused because I don’t understand why I’m tethered to the physical plane. Life is a mystery.
The theory of a disembodied conscious using temporary bodies as surrogates
isn’t crazy; it’s just an unconfirmed science.
We are also slowly dying from the day that we’re born.
I think we need to take a devil may care stance to it all rather than frightening ourselves
with melodramatic perceptions; even if only for the sake of novelty.
Ultimately we need to become the hero and not settle for cringing away in terror as a doomed
victim. Knowledge and a mature acceptance of that knowledge is a good place to start.
The main reason most people feel trapped is because they depend on someone else for their existence be it parent, spouse or employer.
In my later years I came to realize my intuition was wiser than any room full of people put together and output
from those who I depended on was constantly getting me into more and more trouble.
So now a days I keep it simple;
if a red flag goes up, I walk away
if I don’t feel it is for me I won’t bother with it despite what others suggest
If that results in losing resources to the point I starve to death - well I didn’t need
a world that one can starve to death in anyway.
The world brought me here - I didn’t ask to be here.
You really have to stop and begin realizing who really needs who.
Otherwise if we continue on in fear of dying, slaves to the system, and forever questioning who is pulling the strings we only continue to enable and encourage such an existence for others brought in here against their will as well.
If you wonder what I mean by ‘against our will’ if you knew what this life was like, before coming here, and someone asked if you would like to live it, would you have told them ‘Yes.’?
A lot of people most likely wouldn’t because the risk and effort always far outweighs the reward…unless you are terribly easy to amuse.
So in some ways we are prisoners but the most practical thing to do is just ride out the life sentence and keep from getting too attached to anything here or involved.
Find your little nook in life to keep yourself quietly comfortable in to wait out the storm; at the end no one can claim we contributed to the mess nor can they claim that we righteously deserved being introduced to this mess.
Is itching part of taking risperidone? I have had itching in a certain area for about 1-2 years now. I don’t think that it is a fungus or allergic reaction.
Hmm yeah being dependent on others certainly puts a damper on freedom…I can’t wait until I’m completely independent…but I would say mainly my feelings of being trapped come from the insane restrictions of the physical realm. You literally can’t do anything here. My body feels like a cage.
I quit Risperidone a while ago and never experienced itching while on it so idk. I would say maybe the itching could be a withdrawal effect from me quitting Zoloft except I’ve experienced the horrible gum itching on and off since I was like 10.
I’m not sure that we can do anything beyond here without the mechanisms to interact with other physical things.
But just as the body provides us means to experience things the pain and emotions can be played
against us if we don’t bend to the will of others in this existence.
I don’t believe my contentment and comfort should be dependent on commerce (ie; providing a service to earn my way less die a horrible death of starvation) with other living entities as we’ve seen that most are not mature nor competent enough to respect that situation.
And here in is where I would agree that our bodies serve as a cage.