So last night there was a really active voice in my head, it spoke with sort of a British accent and it was this incredibly neurotic guy. I kept feeling him touch me and he kept saying things like how he was overjoyed to see me again and how he missed me. I became scared it was a spirit and pictured myself attacking and fleeing, but then he got angry and started strangling me and I couldn’t breathe, it was very scary. When I stopped struggling he let go of my throat and scolded me then started coming onto me again.
I told him I didn’t know who he was and that he was confused and I felt his hands around my throat again lightly squeezing and he said I shouldn’t say things like that, I didn’t want to make him angry again did I? And I think he was convinced I was his wife. And I was pacing around the house trying to figure out what to do and praying for help and he was holding my hand and still trying to come onto me. And eventually I think I sort of broke down and was filled with extreme sadness and then I got this mental image of a girl younger than me like a teenager, and how the man had been one of her parent’s friends or something like that and had become obsessed with her and proposed and in her time the parents basically decided who the kid got married to so since the guy was wealthy and they knew him they were like sure even though he was older. Then she was stuck with this crazy obsessive guy and I can’t imagine it was pleasant for her. And then she was crying and I pictured myself hugging her. And we did that for a while and then she left and the man’s voice stopped and everything was normal the rest of the night.
Today my brain’s been all funky, I’ve been getting snarky demon commentary and then random bursts of music and my thoughts seem to come in bursts and then are gone. I’ve also been immensely irritable all day and depressed. This is such an awful time in life.