BPD with schizoaffective my medication history etc


#1

Adderall and the like take away my depersonalization. Invega keeps me normal but is expensive unpredictable and makes me irritatable. I need to change it to Seroquel 300mg because of the insomnia, agitation, and mood swings. Adderall helps with ADHD, depression, depersonalization, and agitation for me.
Seroquel is perfect for me because with such a high dose I can divide it and literally take a nibble off of one of the 300s take a nap and be calm and not worried about a thing. However that’s personal. Seroquel is good for clearing out your serotonin recepters, BPD, sleep, agitation, and it’s a well priced and the most potent antipsychotic. All things that I need. Kicks in really fast too. Love the stuff, especially when I have leftover Seroquel pills. Adderall makes the racing thoughts, depersonalization go away but when I take the stuff I love having strong coffee with lots of sugar which takes the focus away, I just need it to be 60 mg ADDERALL XR. Hopefully I can get it to 30. The more I take the less jittery, less easily influenced I am. Way more focus and way less dispersonalization on a high dose of amphet. salts aka Adderall. Helps a TON with my weight issue. Keeps me going without a crash! And mixed with the Seroquel, I’ll always have a way out of my delusions(no delusions caused by my Adderall XR salts.). The sleep it gives you is amazing. 25mg of Seroquel can knock a new user right out. I love those big Seroquel 300s. So much benefit from them for me. Klonopin tolerance goes up wicked fast so it’s a no go for me. Zyprexa is amazing for psychotic panic and anger but so is Seroquel. Abilify is good for me when used with other meds, by itself it causes depression. Also Abilify lowers control I have over myself. Abilify causes the least weight gain and sedation of all antipsychotics. Abilify is a great medication. Trileptal is good for anger, but it took a lot of my inner spark out. Haldol is wonderful, really good for helping me with being reasonable and calm. Ambien I abused but it kept me off the street. One time I took like 50mg and I was out looking for weed and pills but that was 7 years ago and I’m much healthier now. I wasted $700 on pot that day. Awful decision, weed makes me really paranoid, feel like hell ETC. However CBD is very grounding and brings you to a state of reality, CBDs legal status is a gray area but is highly effective for many things! You need about 40mg-1000mg of CBD for schizophrenia a day, which is a really really high dosage when compared to the rest of the needed dosages for other ailments. The rest of the ailments CBD cures require 5mg-35mg which include anxiety, pain, and manic depression. Ambien was addictive and hypnotic, it can cause sleep walking and sleep driving though so be careful. It gave me HPPD after a couple years of use the Ambien did but it helped keep me off the streets. I reccomend Ambien CR if you need a sedative hypnotic to feel normal. Ambien can make a certain disease where you can’t speak normally go away and it makes you sound like a normal person. It was amazing seeing this change in people from the Ambien! Buspar helped me control myself a lot it’s a mixture of 3 different medications and is used for anxiety. I found buspar to be really helpful when I was inpatient. Risperidone is the ultimate tranquility pill, but I prefer Seroquel as it is more potent. Vyvanse was good for removing fears and moderation in eating. Concerta was good for depression for me, just made me feel silly sometimes. Ativan makes me want to relapse however it is a little angel, so if you’re not into drugs Ativan is a good choice. Xanax is very calming but doesn’t last long enough for my psychotic panic symptoms I used to get. Better than nothing though. WARNING: Benzodiazepene withdrawal and side effects can last up to 9 months, or if you’re lucky as little as 2 weeks. Benzos are good though, to ground you in reality. Benzos are highly abused however and I’ve had a trip to the emergency room from mixing muscle relaxers with Klonopin in doses a druggie would use. Seroquel and Zyprexa are the best for my panic. Lithium was great “I’m so happy because today I found my friends, they’re in my head.” Perfect description of it for me. Lithium converts salt to lithium and eases racing thoughts a ton. However you need to get a blood test once a month to check your lithium blood levels, as too much lithium in the blood can be toxic, and deadly. Welbutrin was OK but no where near strong enough for me at 300mg. However I found welbutrin to be quite the happy pill at this dosage, but I wanted the stimulation. Trazodone was meh… Bad experience with it at first but later on it really kept me smart. I actually made my depersonalization much worse by overdosing on Trazodone as a noob to pharmaceuticals. Celexa made me cry 6 hrs a day. Zoloft was amazing, more purpose for myself and gave me a better self image, influenced me to be a better person. When I was prescribed Zoloft I had fractured both my ankles and I was in a senior citizen physical rehab where I learned how good it can be to just let go, meditate, and drink coffee. I recovered from alcoholism in that nice senior citizen home. Great people to be around. Lamictalwas cool, like a happier version of lithium, but seems less “natural” of a mood stabilizer when compared to lithium. Lamictal had less emotional sensitivity than lithium. Invega is a great medication, stops me from drinking or taking illicits. However the half life of invega is around 160 days and a rare but real side effect from going off of it is an extremely long lasting dysphoria. Welbutrin is great for this side affect, dysphoria, SAD, I didn’t find it to help with weight. The instant release welbutrin on the other hand are a whole other story and are like amazing for sociability and limiting nicotine intake. My depersonalization and schizophrenia was brought on by 3 tabs of LSD at first, and Trazodone overdose after really sealed the deal on the depersonalization. Weed brings the paranoia and hallucinations back, (makes me feel like all things that make nouse are trying to communicate with me, including cars TV and when people say normal things, I think they said something else behind what their actual words were. Believe it or not, for me, Adderall cures this ADHD delusional dispersonalization! I’ve tried phenibut it’s an amazing motivated and an amazing sleep aid but it’s highly addictive. Phenibut made me start to get my life together. However I weaned myself off of it, and left it behind, decided it was too addictive and made me act a little bit reckless. Kava is intoxicating, illegal in many countries and to be honest I think it’s over rated and tastes awful and makes you more talkative than liquor. However if you don’t abuse kava it can be very peaceful and quiet your inner voice. Kava just isn’t worth it for me, personally and can damage your liver. B vitamins at about 3000% daily value are wonderful mind cleansers. Try a 5 hour energy for this effect if you’re into caffeine. Thanks for viewing my post I hope you all find recovery peace of mind and happiness!


#2

Great post! You have tried a lot. I disliked AdderallXR… it made me angry, irritable, sad, psychotic, and almost drove me insane. I prefer Vyvanse but I hate the crash … Topamax is supposed to help my appetite but it does not …Seroquel makes me sleepy so I never take the proper dosage… .I liked Buspar when I took it years ago but it want strong enough for me … Wellbutrin never worked… Latuda made me delusional… … I like Lamictal … I digress


#3

Lamictal is a wonderful mood stabilizer. Thanks for the reply!


#4

Bump post thanks


#5

That’s really hard to read. It would be easier to read if you used line breaks.

Jayster


#6

This post is waaaaaay too long. I won’t read it.


#7

#8

Locked because this seems like serious drug-seeking behavior. I hope you’re able to get help from an addiction counselor.