PLEASE HELP!!! I need help… I’m almost there …life is getting better but I need to gather positive thoughts from you all that I can focus on should I fall back into the endless cycle of bulls**t thoughts that start racing through my mind when I know people can’t hear my thoughts I know I am safe yet I start to focus one negative ones I start saying “so tight” or wet or big dick… when I see children I know I am good but I hold back on self destruction I start letting the bad Ghouta win… or when I see the flaws in people whom I love i star letting out secrets that are no longer secrets bit I can not for the life of me stop… yeah maybe I shouldn’t say it. maybe she’s not a whore maybe non of this is real. I want to stop living I want to start feeling ALIVE!!! I want to scream at the top of my lungs where no one can hear me… I want to keep my mouth shut because there’s nothing to say. I want my mind to wonder on its own until I find something more worthy of my amusement. I need less stress less anxiety more comfort and security more focus one the inevitable positive of endless joy a cart infinite of happiness just furiously happy. walk among the normal pretend to be one without constant battle of letting out a single thought be heard. I have a good heart i can only for the moment say that everything will be alright and be good. I want to be an amazing sales man making food without saying dick or pussy I have a military mindset I would take anyone with a lethal weapons who is seeking to harm innocent. I’m learning to play the guitar music is my form of expression. I can now imagine freely not letting “change” change me or my imagination or though control me… i can read a book by just staring. i can mesitate to the level of feeling alive but it’s real hard for me to pretend I’m not saying sick God awful things i can lie but I don’t want to continue living like this I love life I want to be there in a bus sitting calmly not uttering a sound or words. what is it? what could it be? do I need to control … I need help on thoughts that will help me worry less and enjoy the moment a little better.
“racing thoughts”
No S - -t !?!
I read it all, but I think I understand only 70% of it.
Are you saying you can not stop yourself from speaking what is fleeting through your mind? Is that called touretts syndrome, right?
I dont know if that can be a part of any other mental illness like BPD. I dont have any knowledge on that subject.
Are you seeing a doctor? or using medine? If your not then that would be the first things to do.
Can you do anything to stop yourself from blurting out? you said stress is a problem too.
I dont know. Maybe instead of blurting out, try to substitute a different action instead of blurting out words?
Make a large ball of paper and hold it in your hand. Everytime you start to blurt out try squeezing the ball of paper instead. I am sure you would have to practice it at least a couple of days to see if it helps.
I dont know if it will help, but you can try. I really can not say much more.
Try this for now and go to a doctor(psychiatrist) for medicine too.
Hope it helps?
Sorry, I’m bad at long posts right now, but I’m sorry you’re struggling. Racing thoughts and stuff are difficult to deal with.
Yea sounds like racing thoughts to me. But I’m a little confused do you blur out these words uncontrollably only when you’re upset or angry? I find that I have difficulty maintaining my mouth when I’m overly emotional and I’m tired and especially if I’m in a manic state or better yet a mixed state I also have BPD. If it is but you blurt words out that you wish you had not said try getting a mouthguard for your teeth. I know it sounds silly but it’s hard to talk with a mouthguard in so every time you try you’ll be reminded to watch what you say. Beyond that just know that you’re not alone there are a lot of people who care what you’re going through and a lot of people we’re going through the same things in a different way who may need your support as well. Try scanning the topics and see if there’s someone here that you could maybe help with your information just an idea to keep your mind busy
That is a goid idea! I bet a mouth guard might be better to try first.
When I was 16, me and my brother and our drummer had an apartment together. All of us were very foul-mouthed and would let loose at the worst times. Our solution was a jar. Every time one of us used swear words, the offender had to put a dollar in the jar for each word.
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