Being told I was severely disabled. Kinda upset me

I went to my disability medical for ESA disability benefits a couple of weeks ago.(U.K.) I went with my supported living manager (group home manager). My named nurse wrote a letter outlining my issues and put that I severely harmed myself in 2016 trying to cut a microchip out my armpit. The assessor said he could see I was severely disabled and my money would remain the same. I do have extensive support from my care team but I honestly feel like I have nothing wrong with me. I even told the assessor I have nothing wrong with me. I’ve been thinking about the severely disabled thing and don’t think it fits, I think it consigns me to the scrapheap. Do you think on paper you can look more disabled then in reality? Does severely hurting yourself make SZA a serious illness?

Edit. If you’ve tried cutting a microchip out once will they be more cautious and up your supervision in case you do it again? Is it likely I will do it again if I don’t take the meds they are forcing me to have.

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Well, some doctor or a family member or someone at work etc. must have seen something about you or in you that makes them think something is wrong. You may not see it, but they see it.

It’s highly unlikely that if a normal, OK person, without major problems goes in for a doctors visit that the person is going to be told he has a severe disability. It’s not a plot against you or anything like that but we often do not see ourselves as other people see us.

When I first got diagnosed I was put in a group home. I honestly thought nothing was wrong with me. I thought everybody else had a problem but not me. My parents even brought me to a psychiatrist so all four of us could talk. Then the psychiatrist told my parents he wanted to talk to me alone. He told me that my parents said that I have major problems. I told the shrink that it was my parents who had the problem not me. I was dead serious and that’s what I believed. It’s called denial. It’s not our fault it is just part of this disease.

Epilogue: Just two or three months later it dawned on me somehow that everybody in my life was not wrong about me. It dawned on me that I had a serious disease that needed treatment. Realizing that was the first step in my recovery. Denial is not a moral defect or a character defect, it just happens to us.

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try and not dwell on this, it is just the assessment, you are just ticking a box, did you make the support group? i did :slight_smile:

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Yes he said I shouldn’t of been called. I was in and out in 15 minutes.

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i didn’t even need to go, my ex girlfriend wrote mine for me and done everything :slight_smile: that was about 6 years ago though, i’m waiting on pip now lol

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I’m also waiting for PIP. I’ve heard my area is being retested this spring. I think I’m more worried about PIP then ESA.

I’m sorry, but I think you are minimizing your symptoms and the self-harm you afflicted on yourself.
I would advise you to continue taking your meds.
I hope you might gain some insight into your delusions regarding the microchip and do your best to refrain from trying to harm yourself looking for it or trying to remove it. There is no microchip in your body. It’s a delusion
You may be very high-functioning, despite having the illness. Just because you’ve been given a diagnosis doesn’t mean you have to let it define who you are. The choices you make and your actions will be more representative of who you are as a person than any labeling.

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Nicely stated. @eighteyedspy23

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I can’t answer all your questions but the self harming bit I know well. It’s not just sza/sz but all MI issues. I have scars I have to wear for life so I understand your frustrations.

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i have thought the same things before too. however this symptom is called “Anosognosia”

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Personally I see schizophrenia as a severe illness rather than a disability. To me a disability is usually something physical like being visually impaired or being in a wheelchair. Just my point of view.

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Ah, I didn’t know there’s a term for “lack of insight” – that means we can’t see that we’re sick. Thanks!

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Schizophrenia is both a severe illness and a disability. It’s an “invisible” disability because it’s not as obvious as being blind or in a wheelchair. However, it interferes with our ability to function and live our lives. That’s why people with schizophrenia qualify for disability benefits just like people with wheelchairs and blindness do.

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This is a point I have often made. Friends,family,mental health professionals can often see things about us that we don’t see. I think it’s hard for anyone ,even with reasonable insight, to accept they are severely disabled.

The question I would ask is how would @bobbilly cope if they suddenly said he’s ok and took away his support?

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Thanks you for your advice everybody.

I keep the microchips thoughts to myself because my support staff get worried if I talk about them. The only time I say anything is when I become tipsy or drunk and I begin obsessing about it again. The staff then hide all the knifes out the kitchen. I told my named nurse that I think I have OCD because I obsess about things a lot, primarily microchips and if I’m special and my pdoc knowing I’m special but conspiring against me… He said my symptoms don’t fit OCD and if I discontinued the antipsychotics I would become very ill. (it says in my reports 8 /10 days after stopping them) I don’t understand why I still get obsessive thoughts when on antipsychotics, If I was actually psychotic they should stop to then right?

Micochip? …inhumain.

But if you get sz diagnosis then they concider you disabled. No need to feel bad cause they accont everyone the same way.

Im 80% disabled. Its not a visible disease. I even think its a happy disease. Better than physical diseases.

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