I am having a bit of a “thing” .
I was raised by atheists but believe in God but no religion I know of feels right for me so I have my own God I believe in.
I baptised as a Christian and had communion because I said I would try to be a Christian because my holy neigh is one and others I know too.
I said it is not in vain because I was honest from the start that I would try.
Maybe I will keep trying but I do not believe it because it is not nice.
There is a lot of good morals in it but it is also cruel and has been violent too.
I am not keen on hell and I can not believe my God would allow such …
The train people sounded so friendly and nice beeping train sound and now the train sounds sound angry.
So I still do not belong to a religion as such.
I tried and maybe I’m still trying.
I am sorry.
I tried but I just do not believe in the religions I know of including Christianity.
I feel drawn to attend Christian meetings despite feeling this way.
Why do I feel drawn …
Unfortunately (I think?) I do not yell any names or words when sexing .
I am probably bad in bed but maybe I can be awoken to be good or better…
I was living as a Muslim for s while as I had a Muslim boyfriend and thought my father was one.
It’s really strict and I do not believe in it but I was praying five timed a day etc
I enjoyed praying but I still pray just to my God .
I just do not believe in the religions I have heard of not for me .
Sorry for my writings.
My parents have ridiculed and mocked religions and religious people.
My mum said when I was a child only stupid people believe in God.
I got in trouble with her if I prayed .
She says religions are dangerous and so are religious people.
Maybe I should stay away from religion and just keep following my own way.
Not sure why I am drawn to attend Christian gathering .
Maybe I’m still trying.
My grandma said before she died she wanted me to be a tiny tiny bit Christian in a relaxed way.
Maybe that and a few other reasons.
I just believe my God is more forgiving and loving to all etc
Such as my loved one if I went to hell to give her /him love and comfort so it was no hell nomore …
And God is greater than me
I am not joki
So often perhaps so I am not joking just blabbering
Hope the train guys will be friendly and it good n peaceful with me again.