Being an atheist must be frustrating


I am having a bit of a “thing” .

I was raised by atheists but believe in God but no religion I know of feels right for me so I have my own God I believe in.

I baptised as a Christian and had communion because I said I would try to be a Christian because my holy neigh is one and others I know too.

I said it is not in vain because I was honest from the start that I would try.

Maybe I will keep trying but I do not believe it because it is not nice.

There is a lot of good morals in it but it is also cruel and has been violent too.

I am not keen on hell and I can not believe my God would allow such …

The train people sounded so friendly and nice beeping train sound and now the train sounds sound angry.

So I still do not belong to a religion as such.

I tried and maybe I’m still trying.

I am sorry.

I tried but I just do not believe in the religions I know of including Christianity.

I feel drawn to attend Christian meetings despite feeling this way.

Why do I feel drawn …

Unfortunately (I think?) I do not yell any names or words when sexing .
I am probably bad in bed but maybe I can be awoken to be good or better…

I was living as a Muslim for s while as I had a Muslim boyfriend and thought my father was one.

It’s really strict and I do not believe in it but I was praying five timed a day etc

I enjoyed praying but I still pray just to my God .

I just do not believe in the religions I have heard of not for me .

Sorry for my writings.

My parents have ridiculed and mocked religions and religious people.

My mum said when I was a child only stupid people believe in God.

I got in trouble with her if I prayed .

She says religions are dangerous and so are religious people.

Maybe I should stay away from religion and just keep following my own way.

Not sure why I am drawn to attend Christian gathering .

Maybe I’m still trying.

My grandma said before she died she wanted me to be a tiny tiny bit Christian in a relaxed way.

Maybe that and a few other reasons.

I just believe my God is more forgiving and loving to all etc

Such as my loved one if I went to hell to give her /him love and comfort so it was no hell nomore …
And God is greater than me :open_mouth:



I am not joki

So often perhaps so I am not joking just blabbering


Hope the train guys will be friendly and it good n peaceful with me again.