Becoming more stable

After numerous years in a psychotic episode, my ego defense mechs are cooling down. The feeling is in the body now, but my thoughts are almost silent with better control. All I have to do now is rest and reduce anxiety/stress, the brain/body will reset and become stable. I have done this a number times, I am sort of relieved but sad, because I know the mechanisms are needed for my circumstance. But when I become stable, what next?? I know more freedom externally also means more potential for risk. Every different level of fear/no fear has it’s rewards and risks.

I have been doing this for so long, that I am not sure what else there is to do…I am almost free of my symptoms but am I reallu free, one door opens and leads to ten more.

Not here for self help or to become your saviour also lol