Because its not Justice

Wanting someone punished (though understandable because I can ‘feel’ this way too) is not justice.

Justice means getting back what was lost from you.

It doesn’t mean trying to get something out of someone who doesn’t want to give it.

Punishment changes nothing.

Shame encourages more of the same.

The reason people don’t ‘change’ is because of their own pain that says, “It wouldn’t be worth it to change anyway.” or they don’t believe they’ll get what they want.

I’m saying this a bit hypocritically because I am holding onto people in my life out of fear.

But why? Because I look at the alternatives and see they are WAY too painful.

When people want to punish someone to try to force change… that’s a lewd form of control.

It’s odd… all these things coming up somewhere after I just posted about infantilizing people…and people hating people with MI and other problems … because why? You can’t get what YOU want out of them?

That’s not what motivates anyone in life.

Maturity requires acceptance that people may not change. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel the other is abusive though. Or ‘enabling’ them.

Compassion means understanding the why people do what they do. Avoidance of pain (as far I know) is a big motivator for behavior.

Also, nearly EVERYONE is controlling/narcissistic/codependent in varying degrees.

Really my mind is feeling so … I don’t know.

Deja vu and time blips… It’s like … simply because I feel ashamed to speak up for myself. (The irony of the post and what I’ve been accused of)

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:green_heart::green_heart::green_heart::people_hugging::people_hugging::people_hugging: tysm for this

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good topic in fact
good luck with you viewpoints :slight_smile:

I’m not feeling any compassion for my rapist, ever.

And I would pay good money to see that @#$% fed feet first into a wood chipper.

Okay? Okay.

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I see what you’re getting at however, Some things are absolutely inexcusable. My abuse was inexcusable and that person should have been punished. But they weren’t and because of that they are able to do it again.

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Yeah…

I get that, I’m not saying you ‘have to’ be compassionate towards everything.

I was actually just saying that to someone else. We were talking about some things really are pretty horrid and there’s no reason to be compassionate. Only to accept some pain about it.

It’s just a matter of realizing something so as to help process pain.

And that’s what I mean by ‘justice’ because it was something that someone told me a long time ago who I used to follow.

He gave an example which was, that if someone stole something the thing that helps restore you is to get you what was lost back.

He did say that wanting the other person to express remorse is usually pointless since they likely won’t be genuine.

But getting back what was lost by the abuse is what helped me to know.

So losing a sense of confidence because of bullying or something. Or losing a sense of safety because of trauma.

I don’t think he ever said though that you need to forgive or anything. Or that punishment in some cases is not necessary.

I just think it’s overused. But in the case of some things people do and say, I don’t think everything needs forgiveness. We just need what we felt was lost back.

And yeah I realize not everything can be restored. But I do have a strong sense of naivete that likes to think otherwise.

I really agree with your points of views gambu.

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