About 30 days ago… That was short. My youngest brother got drunk and blacked out… beat up my sisters car, hit my sister and got his butt slapped detox and rehab. He’s due out of residential any day now. His girlfriend packed her apartment and went back to her family after my little brothers violent episode. She’s not his punching bag either.
He just called, now he want’s to move in with me. I told him that would not be possible. He started to beg and so I told him what was going on with our kid sis. She’s bleeding internally, and starving to death and stress is eating her alive to the point of hearing voices and seeing drowning people… (I can feel the cosmos say… “Now James?!” So Ok yes, a bit of the drama queen has come out.) But my sis is going to need less stress, not more stress moving in with us.
John asked if I thought he had anything to with this… Karma is going to kick my butt because I basically laid the blame of my sister’s stress illness all on him. I didn’t expect him to cry… and cry… and cry. So later I have to go down there and talk to him. I have to apologize to him and Karma.
Why don’t I think before I get like this. My Zen training is not going well today. Now I feel bad too and I was thinking, maybe he could move in for a few days. I would like him to move in with our parents. He is just starting recovery. I don’t know… I wonder, would I be able to help pull him up, or would he pull me down? I should be there for family… They were there for me. But this just might not be the time.
Either I just dented my Karma, or me loosing it on him is his Karma coming back. It’s all a ponder. Karma is no easy lady to figure out.