Bad addiction

I have a joking addiction.

I do it way to much and at the wrong times.

I annoy almost everyone.

But i can’t stop.

It’s an addiction.

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You have a sense of humor?
Henny Youngman walks into a bar: “Take my wife. Please”. And give me a beer and some Spanish peanuts".
" And while you’re at it, give me change for a dollar so I can buy a condom from the machine in the restroom".

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It’s a type of humor yes.

Well you know what I’m going to say: Jokaholics Anonymous.

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Ill probably be needing that actually.

You can use Mel Brooks for your higher power.

There are worse things to be addicted to: try street drugs chased with liquor. Like downers. Like look at my pupils and take a blood sample and tell me I’m not addicted to a large handful of sedatives.

Lots of times people have asked to buy my Xanax off me. I need it to contain what I call a ■■■■ mess. They just get high from it.

Like ■■■■ this very moment, my parents just argued with me. I want to take an ambien and a beer and date rape myself until I go to sleep. I’ve done it before and regretted it. Well all that means is that we need some good rudimentary desensitization which means do it until it feels normal.

See how addicts brains work?

Like ■■■■ I’m on Xanax right now and I’m still agitated as ■■■■.

Mortimer. Are you really addicted? That’s serious.

■■■■ it I’m technically prescribed it for tremors but yeah I am and I’m not changing. I took Xanax then did a workout with a friend today. It just makes me feel normal.

Liver disease might get me…about that case of beer I bought this past weekend…and about the five Xanax and four beers I had Sunday…nah ■■■■ it mouse knows what he’s doing look at him go.

I don’t even know what else I can say, I’ve said about everything.

MMPI2 said I was an addict too. It’s on file. My behaviors are on file.

You don’t sound like you know what you’re doing with these Xanax. Addiction is addiction. Whether it’s alcohol, pills, illegal drugs, sex, or food. It’s something to take seriously. Left untreated, it will progress, slowly but surely. But hey, who am I to interfere in your life?

Nah you’re of sound mind I should listen. You have experience.

I’m addicted to Xanax, nicotine, adrenaline, sex, porn, caffeine, my phone, this website, school and learning (oh thank god he’s addicted to learning) and aggressive music that would make rich white people vomit. I’m addicted to alcohol whether I admit it or not, when ■■■■ hits the fan I go buy booze, I had unprotected sex with nine people, both men and women last year, I also need other mess which aren’t narcotics but hey those are okay we all take that ■■■■ like candy.

I’m also addicted to exercise, seriously addicted. It works so well, addicted to intense exercise and higher education and everything else.

Just a warning: Those addictions will catch up with you one day.
Addictions are indiscriminate. They don’t treat anyone special.

Yeah I’m resisting the urge to engage in more addictive behaviors right now. My parents argued with me and triggered the torrential downpour hallucinations.

Better grind up my meds and put them in the gallon of milk and then watch them both go into a nice deep sleep after they eat breakfast. On second thought, that would land me in prison and only make me laugh for like half an hour. Nope. Sane behaviors, insane thoughts.

Why the ■■■■ do people drink coffee with booze in it? Oh wait I remember- headache if they don’t.

Good luck…