I probably won’t be posting as frequently as I had been, but I figured I’d just say “I’m back”. I sort of fell off the face of the earth at the beginning of this past winter during which I experienced a three month psychotic break with seemingly no let up. It was a living hell, day and night, so seemingly real I couldn’t convince myself that it wasn’t.
I had to check into the hospital twice for about a week each time. I can’t even begin to recount the entire episode but I’ll just say it all started with reading the newspaper in the morning and believing I was communicating the news stories back to myself in my mid 20’s and making predictions at that time. Then the “voices” started, I at first became convinced that the world’s people were playing host to a parasitic army of spirits escaped from hell.
It was three months of delusions, voices, even some tactile hallucinations, it was terrifying, it broke me, but I am steadily recovering. I am recovering now to the point that I am no longer in the grips of the delusions and I am as of recently going days at a time without even thinking about the voices or what I went through last winter.
But I can’t say I’m not traumatized by this experience, I am, very much so. It was the scariest psychotic break I’ve ever experienced. I’m on meds (perphenazine) as well as a few other non-antipsychotics, and am recovering fairly well.
Just wanted to say I’m back and, well, apologize for any possibly strange posts leading up to this past winter as I wasn’t exactly leading a healthy lifestyle or thinking quite right back then either. But I hope to change that.