What’s up old friends?
Got some downtime. Wanted to post, but couldn’t think of anything relevant… Until I realized that it’s the end of the first month of finally living on my own again.
It feels like not a whole lot changed. I knew it wouldn’t solve all of my problems… But I’m kind of dissapointed how stressed out I get still.
It’s way better though. I just have to remind myself of how stressed out I used to be.
I did make it. It doesn’t feel quite like I wanted, but it’s there. Waited 3 years for it. I forget that covid has totally altered my semi-out-and-about lifestyle.
That’s probably something I should remind myself about more. It’s also been 90 + degrees Fahrenheit for about a month every day. America is in shambles no doubt.
But I’m still well employed and being in the second most depopulated region of the US does stage us to dodge quite a few of the bullets zinging around in the American gumption.
All sorts of ■■■■ I’ve never seen have all occurred this year. Purely madness.
It isn’t all bad though. There is a lot of very difficult but positive movements occuring. Covid just reminds me of how globalized we are becoming. I mean it’s a unifying factor regarding human experience… The whole world will remember this together… And that’s machevellian but… At least there is a silver lining. The unified experience inherent dissipates the notions of overt incompatibility.
All in all it’s just a strange time to be alive.
I love you all… I’m out here hacking it the best I can I want to encourage you all to keep trucking with it. My positive symptoms are still with me at all times… Like my brain is a dirty kaleidescope at all times… Muck and weird colors… But I know it’s just my illness. My imagination works just fine these days.
Used to have to miss that… Just being able to see what I was thinking about in a while.
I don’t think the presence of the illness will ever go away… But I can actually like just chose when I want to force myself to sleep. I can invoke my own sense of peace with things when I need.
… I don’t feel ■■■■■■ out of life like I used to since the first break.
Progress can be found and its worth fighting for.
I’m hoping the best for you. The worlds and population at large all have their problems… We get overlooked… But I’m thankful for each one of you being in this existence with me… Cause I could not have gotten as far I have if I was left with nothing but the trap of feeling like I was the only one.
I think we’re just temporally displaced. Born to the wrong kind of time… Cause this world sucks… And it’s hella stubborn… And somehow it’s entirely in love with itself at the same time.
Total ■■■■■■■■… Sorry that last bit was too proclamative to go without being labeled with the “delusional beliefs”… I only mean it as an exagerrated portrayal to sort of demonstrate my emotion sense of things… As I peril on through the ongoing tide of mishmash that is global assininity.
Take care y’all