At the End of my Rope

The title says it all. I’ve been struggling the last few weeks, especially the last few days, and the word suicide popped up a few times in my mind. I pushed it away, and determined to be stronger. But this depression wouldn’t go away, and it finally caught up to me today. I broke down in tears for the last few hours, and I just can’t do this ■■■■ anymore

The meds have never helped with the voices but I’m going to talk to my doctor on Thursday about increasing both Abilify and Seroquel. I’m just at the end of my ■■■■■■■ rope

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Oh, @Cragger, really sorry to hear this. I hope your discussion with the doc goes well for you. Do you want me to tag a mod for the helplines? Sometimes it helps, just to talk.

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Hope things get better for you. Things can get better just keep goin cragger

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Thanks @anon44466342 I appreciate it. I have the phone number for my local crisis line, but I’m doing a little better just since posting

Thanks @LevelJ1 don’t worry, I’ll keep plugging away

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I’m sorry. But I’m glad you’re willing to talk to a crisis line. Hang in there. If you feel yourself thinking about ways to do it and start making plans you should immediately go to the ER

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Have you ever considered clozapine?

I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.

How long have you been on seroquel? I went bananas and suicidal on that med at a dose of 200mg.

Man I hope you see the light. You’re a cool ass dude!! We wouldn’t wanna see you but anywhere next to that avatar of yours!! Love the tunes keep grooving

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Oh take care of yourself @Cragger
I’m sorry you are having such a hard time now.

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No I’ve never tried that Med. I might ask my doctor about that on Thursday.

Thank you guys, your support means a lot

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I’ve been on Seroquel for quite a while but at a very low dose. My doctor recently put me up to 150 mg, and said she would be comfortable going as high as 300. But it sounds like you hit quite a wall or 200 mg. Good to know, I’ll keep my eye on it if she increases it

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Did you start feeling bad after that increase? That might be the culprit. But I’m just guessing based on my own experience with it.

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I’m so sorry @Cragger.
You can always talk to me. I can’t make the voices go away, but I would care to listen :heart:

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@everhopeful no, I’ve been on 150mg for several months now, and it seemed to have no effect good or bad.

Thank you @Flowerpot as always

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Sorry @Cragger . You’re a good guy. Hoping for better days for you ahead.

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Thanks @Bowens much appreciated

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Hang in there @Cragger it gets better in time

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I’ve been sleeping in the day for the last three days and staying up all night. Tonight I’m taking something to sleep. I have not gone out in three days. I have thought about suicide too since I got up today. I don’t want to be an aimless out of work actor so I’ll stick around and keep my job in this world. I’m also getting a medication adjustment next week.

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Thanks @onepercentoff I’ll stick it out

@Jinx I hope things start turning around for both of us.

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I know when you are in the thick of it, things can seem bleak.

But every time there’s a little light…and you follow it…to make your way out of the bubble.

Don’t go making any poor decisions on us now. You’re a decent and talented dude! This world needs more people like you in it! :slightly_smiling_face:

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Cragger dude please get help snd tslk to usbtoday here…i havent sern you around muchh lately is everytjing okay?

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