As soon as I said it… I could tell it made no sense. It was the beginning of some sneaky brained thinking.
My girlfriend and I were having a small disagreement. She was sitting in my room and this disagreement was getting a bit emotional. (we worked it out… all is well)
But I was getting upset because the fish were gathering in the corner of the tank… looking up. (most likely hoping for some fish food)
I told her we had to leave the room if we were going to keep this up… the fish were watching.
Then I told her… “You can’t say things in front of the fish… they can lip read. Stop talking in front of the fish… it’s upsetting them.” (I unraveled a bit further from that point on.)
As soon as I said it… I knew… I was starting to come undone. I think it was the hit of emotion during the disagreement that started to unravel me.
I was wondering if anyone else ever has that moment where even though it feels real and makes perfect sense… it doesn’t make perfect sense.
My girlfriend took it as a sign to back off and let things calm down. I’m glad she knows how this head circus plays.
I was just remembering a time where something like that would make perfect sense to me and there would be no way for me to realize that I wasn’t thinking right.
Then I would get really angry when people tried to talk me out of it or convince me other wise. In my head… that was it. The fish are lip reading… no other explanation would cut it.
You know those seven second delay buttons they have on radio for when someone says something objectionable? To prevent broadcasting something that shouldn’t be broadcast? I wish one was built into my mouth.
Emotions can make me psychotic, to agree with you, yes. The first time I actually slept with someone and didnt just hit it and quit it, I woke up hearing them saying bad things about me and took an hour to go back to sleep. Strong emotions can make our brains kick into overdrive and screw us up. The remedy is exposure therapy. The second night was just fine with me.
With this head circus stripping away the emotions… getting used to the flavor of them again is going to take some work.
Plus it takes some work reacting to them in an appropriate manner. I’ve never been good at that part. I’m getting better…
A quick hit of emotions feels like a rip current… vortex… spinning downward. I’m not going to shy away from it… that’s no way to learn… but I sure don’t want argument exposure.
You have got a very understanding GF,although you said something which wasn’t logical,sorry to say that but it shows how deep you and your GF relationships is,although it’s a argument,but the main thing is you said your issue is solved and there is a positive thing in this whole matter!
You’ve just got to roll with the tides on this one. Relationships and emotions of affection can screw with our brains. At first, once I started my recovery journey, I was psychotic whenever I masturbated or kissed anyone. Countless “scores” and make-outs later, I get the opposite effect, I get funny if I don’t have some release a few times a week. Exposure therapy, featuring sex! How can we complain? LOL
Yes, I’m having moments like this recently, I think it happens to all of us, you’re not alone. It’s good she backed off, shows she has understanding; Glad all was sorted too, I bet that’s a relief.
I know when I’m too stressed or a social conversation is focused on me, I start rambling disconnected sentences, unrelated meanings and sometimes paranoid or manic thinking.
I wouldn’t stress it too much, she knew she hit a button and let you settle which is good, you were obviously upset and having a moment, the important thing is that you’ve sorted things together.
no offence but what you wrote seemed perfectly logical to me, the fish were picking up on the negative emotion in the room…plus they were probably looking at you both with puppy fish eyes and saying in chorus…
" feed us "
" feed us "
take care
I have to stop the tension with the kids (younger siblings) when they get to throwing fits a bunch. I usually yell something like, “I’m on medicine that causes intense pain in my muscles and it’s killing my ■■■■■■■ organs! You’re punished! You don’t get to sleep at Kylie’s house tonight!” LOL It usually does the trick.
That definitely happens to me far more often than I’d like.
My partner is also very understanding and somehow he’s often able to de escalate without being condescending (which any touch of stokes my ire in a way nothing else quite can).
On some level I’ve had to accept that these things are going to happen and focus on how I recover from them and whether I can come back and do my best to appreciate the compassion I get once I’m able to. It is mortifying to me though and I hate how helpless I feel to rein it in even when, in that moment, there’s a flash of realising what I’m sounding like.