Arguing with sex

I’ve been arguing with sex since the day I was born and discovered to be a girl not a boy. All through my adult life, sex was not considered a reality, if it appeared in my being, it was quickly knocked down and dismissed. Now I know it affected my life badly. It is better to recognize the power of our natural destiny.


It must have been very difficult for you. I wish things could have been different.

Yes. I felt different and not knowing where I belonged. Suicide was thought of and unconsciously attempted.

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It would be a whole different ball game in this day and age wouldn’t it?

Yes, if I dared. I fear social rejection not realizing that it’s already a reality for me. I keep to myself.

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Sex actually seems very unreal to me as well. I mean I’ve had it. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it through to the point that both her and I just didn’t want to do it any more…

But it’s so strikingly different from the other 99% of life to me… inside and out. It’s still very unreal and intangible.

I’ve actually had a lot of issues over the matter in the recent weeks. It’s tough to keep a casual perspective over it and it leads me to a lot of upset… in a lot of very immature ways.

Like jealousy… Paranoia…

It’s gotten better sense I decided to let go of the idea of someone so much.

All things are only good when both participating really want it. Everything else is a far cry from the real deal.

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When I started on Risperdal, 22 years ago, it took all my sex drive away. And when I had sex with someone, the sex took place in my head rather than in my lower body parts. And it was almost impossible for me to orgasm. So, I didn’t do it. I focused on pleasing my partner. Things were going fine this way until I became religious and had to become celibate because of it. Celibacy turned out to be a cinch for me. I’ve been celibate ever since.

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I took a plea bargain and opted out.

Ok so you are transgender. Do you have friends who are transgender? Do you go to any transgender support groups? What are you dreams aboutsex? You dont have to tell me. Just some questions for you to think about. Hope i was a help.

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Ha, at my janitor job in an army reserve office building there are enough cute women soldiers in the 30-50 year old range to check out and small talk with. When I am vacuuming I am often by myself and the mind wanders and occasionally I will think, "Well, I’m 57 but maybe it’s possible that perhaps one of these cute women come along and maybe I make them laugh or they like my personality, or maybe they are having a great day and they’re feeling generous and want to make the old janitor happy and maybe they tell themselves, “Ah what the hell” and they give me a roll in the hay.
It’s a fantasy of mine but I have seen women do enough weird things in my life, like come on to perfect strangers for example, or sleep with the ugliest people or give a guy some pity sex, that it keeps my hopes alive, lol.

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I’m transgender, too, and have never engaged in sex (I’m 44). I was starting the transitioning last summer and was taking testosterone injections until it made me psychotic and the docs said I couldn’t continue…but the T made me horny as all get out while on it! It should be a standardized therapy for poor libido!
I’ve given up on the transitioning process, too expensive with uncertain results.

Whose transgender? I’m not.

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