Im really really nervous without “deep calming medication” or “neuroleptics” "antipsychotics / aps" i lose control of impulsivity pretty easy without aps because im schizophrenic from also from my personality, its not just the illness but it has started “ill`ness” at so young age that it have builded to my personality, got lot of impulsive personality disorder stuff and lot of psychiatric diagnosis, now its just schizophrenia. Im going Invega (strongest one) some antipsychiatry songs call it “Chemical lobotomy or loboty has since evolved nowadays theres a risperdal” but it makes me calm and my memory still works almost perfect so i can deal with the harass effects of it pretty well.
Shizowitz don’t believe the myths about the chemical lobotomy because I’m a profe that the beliefe is wrong. I write english better than ever and it’s said that those two meds I take namelig Seroquel and Clopixol are pure horse tranquilizers. And lastly let me add that you are on a good medication. I’ve learnt that Invega is as strong as Haldol with a loads less side effects. And as time goes by you’ll get less and less bothrted by side effects and the benefits will outrage the ill effects.
Without the antipsychotic. I will be delusional and psychotic and hallucinate it’s all just a colorful mess of disgusting crap is what it is and when it’s all done I’ll be left with a scrambled memory of it and psychotic damage. It’s a nightmare. My brain just goes for it. But I wasnt violent. Didn’t want to be
I think I probably would be violent off my aps but I haven’t stopped for 27 years except in 1996 under doctor supervision. That was a bad experience but I believe I’ve gotten that energy out since. Mainly, it’s the lack of sleep thing, that makes me crazy and crazy in its extreme in me is angry. I’m a psychopath but I’m not angry, unless it gets to the extreme of screaming “I’ve lost my mind!” Very painful. I get it back and can even read something and tell you what it said! My activities are music and writing hand written letters. I clean the kitchen daily and do the shopping. I have trouble but I’m learning to say I AM statements. Does that make sense? I have bad feelings for my mom but I believe she’s forgiven, that’s just how a lot of people in the world are about family. Dark.
One thought two minds. Do you know who I am.
Because how could you know that what you wrote was one day in my lifr. Same ages almost lives identically like identical twins.
Well, to be exact it was 1997 I last went off my meds. I was in a research hospital testing ads which weren’t on the market. I believe in oneness too with the world.
If you’re my age, 52 and had sz or sza since onset of adulthood I’m very happy for you! You are on the other side of the mountain! How much farther can it be before we are done?
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I’m sorry to say so but I don’t belive that my life expectations look.very bright.I hope that people by my deaths bed will say “you fought the illness bravrly but no-one can beat the wind Mills how much they wish to”.
Thank you for your support on the comment.
My medication is:
- Invega (Strongest one) (always)
- Levomepro up to 100mg for sleeping (if needed)
- Zoloft for major depression 100mg (always)
- Seroquel prolong XR 200mg 200 to 600mg day (if needed)
- Depakote 2000mg each morning (always)
- Zyprexa 10 to 20mg / day (if needed)
Do people make great demands on you? I keep going because no one expects me to work. Work would be good though, if I could, I have worked, loved and hated it. I have no kids, no obligations. I have my family though in other states. I just have to clean the house occasionally and take care of my hygiene, etc. etc. , nothing big. I have my guitars and mandolin, YouTube, TV., and I live in a safe area. I have a one room apartment. No car or motercycle. Life is easy. At least that’s the idea people have, so I keep going. Living in their minds. Spooky.
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I am verbally and physically violent off meds and also when on the wrong meds. I haven’t been violent in the past 18 years. I am on the right meds.
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Am I a rare case where my meds cause aggression? I was suicidal and angry for 2-3 months before going on risperidone for the aggression(on top of my fluphenazine)Went to the hospital twice because I attempted. If it wasn’t for the riseridone I’d still be like that.
I have to do all thing’s by my self except for cleaning every othrr week. I even manage to help my mother who is helpless and fragile and schizophrenic herself.
Shes 77 years old.
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Skinny me I sure thst 90 %.of.us schizophrenics would react the same way without or with wrong medication.
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Nah, i was only threatening to myself. I would literally give the shirt off my back to other homeless folks when I lived on the streets.
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Geodon gets rid of my violent thoughts.
Thank you Lord that you let me off it Amen !!!
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