I’m very useful at work, but beyond that, not much. Work takes SO much out of me mentally and physically that I’m not there at home much.
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It was three years ago.
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People tend to fluctuate from month to month, at least I do. I hope you are about to enter a period of time when your functioning gets much better. Best wishes!
I don’t hate the way my life is, being at home wondering what’s going to happen next and feeling sorta powerless. I just feel extremely guilty.
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Have you had a performance review?
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I’m useful as a human being but not as a “worker”, because I don’t work. I just volunteer.
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I’m useful as both, just to what levels—that varies from day to day!
Some days I feel overwhelmed and there’s too much noise from the office and I end up with glazed eyes just staring at this computer screen scrolling up and down at random intervals with my mouse.
Other days, the people I tutor thank me for being “so patient” and for “teaching me” and I feel useful.
As a human being, I volunteer as a tutor, too, but only for 2 hours on the weekends. It helps me cope with my anxiety about tutoring. It also makes me feel like a good person who cares about others.
Some days though, I show up for volunteering and I’m like, how close is the end of the tutoring session? and always check my watch. Other days, I lose track of time and I’m exited about student’s progress and I can’t stop walking around checking their papers—and not my watch!
I think I need to start charting my moods to see what’s going on with the variability in my productivity.
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