Schizophrenia.com

Are you better off than your parents?


#1

Just wondering how many of you have/had a sz parent… Do you think you are better off than they were at your age (if they lived to be as old as you are now)?

My mom had sz and died at 51 of a burst appendix. For the last 10 years of her life she was home bound, incoherent at times, hallucinating, had no friends and stayed in bed most of the day.

I am 46 and although I am not thriving, I have a few hobbies and friends, I don’t sleep too much, I don’t get as many hallucinations, hopefully I still make some sense when I talk and I have some fun and help others now and then… I don’t know how long my luck will hold out but I am extremely grateful that things have worked out better for me than they did for my mom at my age… She had a pretty shitty life. Not sure how much giving birth to me added to the shittiness but I am grateful to her for doing so at this time.


#2

I’m better off than my dad was, and worse off than my mom. My dad grew up with “the witch of the west”, and an abusive father; and he turned out to be abusive himself. I believe without a doubt he is extremely mentally ill. More delusional than anything else. My mom grew up in a semi-healthy home. Her mom was into witchcraft, and her brother ended up possessed if you believe in that, the most of the homes they lived in were haunted… But other than that they were well off.


#3

My mom has sz. I grew up with her being unmedicated and extremely symptomatic. Basically, my childhood was hell. Until she left us when I was 13. Then my family and my home life got SO much better.

I think I’m doing a lot better than my mom was at my age. I take my medication, manage my symptoms, go to therapy, have a support network of wonderful friends. So yes, I’m doing better than she was.

I thank God that I learned from my mom’s mistakes with the illness and did things the right way.

Blessings,

Anthony


#4

Great to hear that you are doing well Anthony.

I grew up in an abusive environment. Parents are not good people. I live with them now - after going through family therapy. Things are still not good.

My mother is a bible bashing control freak. My father is the physical one. He used to hit me a lot.

But my parents have both held down jobs. Not particularly successful jobs but jobs nonetheless.

So I’m not better off financially than my parents.


#5

I was actually more interested in parents with schizophrenia but thanks for sharing. I can’t say I did as well as my dad did at my age. He kept it pretty well together, gave up drinking long before I was born after he was arrested for acting out while drunk… He worked full time, liked doing a lot of art and photography, read a lot of books, was great with my siblings, fixed up the house a lot and almost never hit us other than mild spanking which was mostly symbolic. At my age he had kids and a lot of responsibilities but handled them well. I don’t have as much on my plate so I am in between my mom and dad in terms of functioning.


#6

I’ll deal with Mom only because Dad didn’t have any MH issues. My Mom wasn’t SZ but was diagnosed anxiety, took tranquilizers, and was considered quite eccentric.
Am I better off? In some ways yes. And in some ways no. In her early 50s she had already been in extreme pain with rheumatoid arthritis since about age 40. She had had a hysterectomy. She did live in a house and had a job, but carried a mortgage and her job at times was stressful. I own a house with no mortgage and don’t have to work, and I get enough finances to get by. she had running water in her house, I do not. She had relationship problems. So we both had those. I lost my wife to suicide, and we lost our kids…My Mom successfully raised me till I was 18. but my dad left my Mom when she was in her mid 30s, and that loss was like death for many years. My Mom was legally addicted to painkillers for over 30 years (for the arthritis). I’m not on any drugs of any kind.

So i would say half & half.


#7

My father was an abuser, mentally, emotionally , physically and sexually. My mother was psychotic. Once she nailed me to boards in the garage and tried to set me on fire with gasoline. The neighbor doused me with water and saved my life. She would try to make us drink urine if we were thirsty and it wasn’t dinner time with my dad. She was never diagnosed. She came after me with an axe for stealing her husband while she was pregnant=I was five. Dad came home in time. She talked to people that weren’t there and argued with them. I started hearing voices when I was eight. I was diagnosed with a very high IQ and people just said I was strange. It wasn’t until I had a nervous breakdown at 35 that I was diagnosed. My life isn’t great but I raised a beautiful daughter that I never spanked that is graduating from college in December I have two degrees but can’t work anymore. I am afraid of people. Voices are loud under stress. I am trying for social security right now. Hopefully they will rule in my favor. I think I am a little better off but not by much.


#8

hell yeah you are better then them look at your daughter. for me my mom was a SZ always trying to stop the meds lol and i dont know why but she was addicted to methadone so yeah my mom was pretty much a bitch but you my sir are a fighter wow god is proud of you thats for sure . compared to you im a drama queen LOL


#9

When I talk to CPs about my mother, they often say the same thing: my mother was schizophrenic and I just copied her behavior. When I was a little kid, she would often get hysterical at one time and very nice and calm at the other. I was always anxious because I never knew when she would get upset again. So I guess alot of symptoms of AC are still largely affecting my life, which I think are much more damaging to my self-esteem than hallucinnations or voices in the head. This lead to my insecure attachment and I still have problems with guys especially and people in general.

Since I started living alone, most of my schizophrenia symptoms have disappeared, but still suffering from AC symptoms. I’m too weak, I guess.