I have this Theory that some of the symptoms we have that start with A aren’t from Schizophrenia itself but rather from our inability to deal with the Schizophrenic Experience..
Examples,
I know that my Amotivation comes from my inability to complete tasks as well as I once could. I know that if I set out to do something extraordinary I will likely fail because failing has happened in the past and because of this failure or even fear of failing, I no longer have the motivation to do anything immense or big for myself. Yes I can do it but it requires immense will and strength. Maybe Amotivation comes from lack of energy too.
Adohenia in my mind is from my experiences with the disease traumatizing me and desensitizing me via hallucinations and an endless amount of delusions, maybe not from a brain chemistry imbalance, although drugs one day could rig my mind to take the trauma less seriously. I believe I can’t experience pleasure because I have been through too much. Adohenia is common with trauma patients and not just schizophrenia patients, even depression. Depression insofar as being desensitized to the world around you.
I think psychosis, for me at least, was a type of trauma, and this resulted in dullness, inability to feel much, cognitive and emotional shortages. Some could be a side effect of the medication, but I figure it’s mostly due to all that crazy activity of delusion and thought broadcasting, and the brain being overactive for months now has retreated into a quiet shell, somewhat. I’m just hoping this isn’t permanent because it’s awful.
The psychotic experience is certainly a type of trauma that has a very specific impact on how you perceive and interpret while in the psychotic state but at the same time everything you learn about yourself you can forget and recover from with the right medication ( if you are lucky). This is a unique type of trauma because typically trauma has a ever lasting impact on how you perceive.
Maybe people that learn something they deem valuable like a way to understand the world have a hard time forgetting and recovering even with medicatio. A type of understanding that they do not want to lose or forget about but one they instill into their identity because it means so much to them.
Jajin, I am curious. As crazy as our experiences are. Have you learned anything?
I changed my location and my lifestyle and was able to come off meds and lost all of my negative symptoms. I think you hit the nail on the head, psychosis causes major damage to your feelings from stretching ones imagination too far. The experience is so real and so scary that your emotions simply go away to avoid being hurt again.
I once had a doctor tell me that I wasn’t schizoaffective and take me off antipsychotics. It was the best two years of my life post diagnosis. Unfortunately the psychosis came back after a brake up with my girlfriend. The meds play a big role in these so called negative symptoms too. You can’t heal internally if your feelings are blocked out by a tranquilizer.
A lot of negative symptoms are also symptoms of depression. Sometimes it leaves me wondering if people aren’t just depressed as well from having such an awful and debilitating disorder.
Also the psychotic brain is weird in that some areas of the brain have too much dopamine, but some areas have too little…the too little part is what causes negative symptoms…
I totally agree, i think that’s part of why time heals for some of us. Because it takes time to put all that trauma behind us. Meds stay the same but healing happens for many of us that are fortunate enough to put our past in the past.