Glad to hear Sam, you have a nice take on turning things around.
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My immediate family is all about ākick the dogā and Iām the dog. I used to believe that my mom loved me so much but now I think that she is just so eaten up with pride that she only got me help because the rest of the family would be mad at/ look down on her. Iām never good enough. Sort of like the self fulfilling prophecy thing. She never said I was stupid but she always said āoh maybe you canā¦ā and it was never something that was a high enough position, someone that she would respect. She always said āoh maybe you can be a nurse!ā it was never āoh maybe you could be a doctor!ā Now I know what I just said is going to piss a lot of people off but you have to put it into context. My mom would never respect a male nurse. Iām a woman and that means that she would just see me as an extension of my husband and not particularly a person in my own right. I thought that maybe if I became something prestigious enough she might respect me as a person and not an extension of someone else. She might respect me as a nurse but only if I āmarried upā so to speak.
I have never been good enough for her and I honestly believe that the only way she will ever/ I can ever expect her to see any worth in me is if I marry someone rich. I think thatās why she hates Creighton so much. He isnāt rich.
Thank you for this thread. I really needed to get this out.
Gosh! Donāt they. Mine is not my parent but my in-laws who latched onto my sister after she followed directions from voices to go hang out with their son. I started to hear it after LONG time without the voices, they didnāt give a crap about me and just let me get so worked over by the terrible mental care, I had nervous, lost job and now on disability pay. I ASKED SPECIFICS AND THEY BLEW ME OFF!!! I had supported self for 12+ years, even getting Bachelorās paying cash. Nothing about me mattered to my in-laws as they are making $150k and mooching my parents, wonāt even hire me to babysit, clean their house or do yard. This is my in-lawās valuesā¦! My parents are barely comfortable and entering retirement with my sister mooching them good and Iām paying my own way on disability check buying used or $$$ store.
I know the mental care HAS to follow policies laid down like refusal to do anything but call someone sick, call them delusional and refuse to help with any specific functioning help besides push the meds. But, it has been hard finding out my in-lawās problems trashed other people FOR YEARS if they wanted to use someoneā¦Iāve come to point I skip the FREE dinners, get togethers and just avoid them so I donāt get worse. Met Mrs. shrink in mental hospital and her husband had TRASHED her so I know worse can happen if you have anything to sayā¦I want to be okay so I donāt got near them any longer. I get to see sister and kids sometimes, avoid saying much to my brother-in-law and go no where near his family AT ALL!
BIL treated pretty sister nicely so Iām not rocking her boat. Just avoid it! They sunk me & no help with solutions to fix it /make it better eitherā¦
well, schizophrenogenic mothering styles is some outdated sheeet yo.
My is mostly cool. She has her moments of not being cool. I have my moments of not being cool. I guess itās okay.
No wait, thats reciprocal altruism, thatās evil, yo.
ā ā ā ā
Off the top my head. I use to get blamed for everything my brother did. Iād stand up to her and say it wasnāt me. My brother would somewhat admit he did it. Sheād still be in denial that golden boy could do anything wrong. Never one apology. In denial of my illness too.
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And lately:
Payson, E.: The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with One-Way Relationships in Work, Love andFamily, Royal Oak, MI: Julian Day, 2002.
Brown, N.: Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Upās Guide to getting Over Narcissistic Parents, 2nd. Ed., Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2008.
My mother understands my mental illness completely.
She is one of the oneās who did it to me actually.
I keep bringing it up and she has admitted that āthat was a long time ago.ā See, sheās one of those āitās in the past peopleā and it doesnāt matter what happens because itās in the past.
I ā ā ā ā ā ā ā hate witches and the spirits who give them power and abilities.
So thats my miserable short ass painful life, just a bunch of demonic ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā .