My husband and I had a conversation last night in regards to how I am feeling overwhelmed lately. In turn to this, I told him that part of the reason I do feel overwhelmed and out of control is because he seems to lack insight into what it could feel like having Schizophrenia (as I do). (I’m honestly a puss and I take everything as being much harder than it should be because I struggle in most everything that I do just to try to be as normal as I possibly can).
When I’ve had an episode, him and I seem to follow a pattern of behaviors. My episodes start up, so he starts in with “tough love” which is more or less a nice way of saying “I’m about to get mean as if that’s really going to show that I love you more than being supportive and comforting”, I am incredibly sensitive during episodes so it makes me worse, he becomes overwhelmed by the amount of self loathing and depression I go into, he tries to be nice without being -too- nice (because he likes to say “I’m still a man, you know”), I don’t improve any because the damage is already done and he’s left wondering why his tough love didn’t work in snapping me out of it.
So, since this pattern obviously isn’t working… I feel like we could make more improvements if I could gather maybe a small packet of information on Schizophrenia. He seems eager this time to learn more.
The thing is, whenever I search the web, I either come across sources that aren’t reliable or information that he already knows from sitting in on sessions when I’ve seen my Psychiatrist. It’s mostly basic information of Schizophrenia that I’ve found on sites like the Mayo Clinic or WebMD, but even then… those are just “typical symptoms” of Schizophrenia… Not really supplying the “baggage” that comes with being Schizophrenic or a loved one of a Schizophrenic Member. (I hope that makes sense).
I have access to my college library that I’ve considered downloading articles and books from, but he actually has a hard time with reading books because he has dyslexia. I don’t want it to be too complicated for him in the sense of reading too much.
Is there any reliable and professional sites that you’ve come across that has supplied you with good and accurate knowledge that I would be more optimistic in using to show my husband when he returns home tonight?