Anyone in a 12 step program? Do you sponsor people?

This is a pretty urgent point for me
I believe I’d not cope with the pressure
The same way I can’t work or have children or study or do anything like a normal life…
I think the responsibility would drive me crazy
I did have a sponsee about 20 years ago we both ended up in the same hospital!
Having said that I’ve been stable for about 15 years give or take a couple of days here and there

I go to AA meetings, but I don’t sponsor people. I’ve only been sober four months now. There are some others on this forum who are in 12-step programs.

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Thank you for your reply
4 months is really really good x​:raised_hands::raised_hands::pray::pray::pray:

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Thanks @Three 15

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I’m 3 months abstinent in Overeaters Anonymous
Waiting on a reply from a woman I asked to sponsor me, so it’s early days again

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I belong/ed to AA, CA and NA. I never really desired to sponsor anybody. I guess it would have been alight but not being a sponsor was not a big deal to me.

I have 31 years clean and sober. I did get into service a little and was a Group Service Representative twice. I also went to functions like dances and picnics. If you want to get more involved in your 12-step program there’s other ways. You can be the coffee person; going to the meeting early and being responsible for making the coffee each week and bringing a box of cookies or something.

Or getting to the meeting early and setting up chairs and staying late and putting them away. Or get involved with dances, picnics or holiday functions and volunteer to set up tables and chairs and fix food or serve food. These may sound menial or trivial but volunteers for these things are much appreciated by everybody.

If you have a car you can give members rides to meetings or drive them home.

You can help other members without being a sponsor. Give out your phone numbers to newcomers so they could call you if they just are having a hard time in their recovery and need someone to talk to. You don’t have to sponsor them, just talk to them.

IDK how much clean time you have but you can help other members by standing up and freely sharing your
experience, strength and hope in the program. You can stay longer after meetings and talk to people. If you have any clean time and your recovery is OK just walk up to newcomers after meetings and introduce yourself and ask them how they’re doing. That may not sound like a big deal but you would be amazed at how shy other people are. Lots of people are afraid to start conversations with people, it isn’t just us schizophrenics.

And when you look around a room after a meeting and see someone standing alone sipping a cup of coffee nervously by themselves, most likely, that person is just dying to talk to someone but they’re too shy to initiate a conversation or fear rejection. And just walking up to them and saying hi and introducing yourself would make them feel so good.

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Long term AA member. Currently have two sponsees. I help them work the program, that’s it. The rest of their lives are not my responsibility. Sponsors who try to do more than the basics make themselves and those they sponsor ill.

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Thanks Nick this is all so true.
Just been camping with an AA Al-Anon OA member. Occurred to me that she is just the same with people.
As far as sponsoring people I have a bit of an abject fear… having spent my whole life trying to respond and ending up mute or hanging in the air waiting for a comeback that never occurred to me

I had psychosis around the idea of ‘giving love’
And really have spent my whole life trying to make up for it in the sense of even general conversation
Not even being good with question and enquiry or listening TO THE POINT OF EXTREME
Sorry caps

Im working on it

I’m an ex AA having decided to drink again
I was sober 6 years chaired meetings and went to a couple of conventions
It is silly
I drink every week and yes I get calls from the bottle but not ridiculous and not a need to have a second
I was age 22 in OA I’m 47 now
Not a lot has changed I still drink a couple of times a week up to about 6 units in one go every couple of weeks

I was in private rehab for 4 weeks for multiple compulsive addictive personality
It all led on from there

I was a good friend with my sponsor in AA.
I did start to unravel a bit when she relapsed
She took me through the steps but we were circle of friends Her, her sponsor and my good friend and whoever we were going out with

I haven’t gone to a meeting in over a year except a few online. I’m keeping the spiritual side open right now so I guess you could say I am on step 2. I stay clean and sober. I don’t have a sponsor or want one and I don’t sponsor anyone. AA people are just plain BORING. My voices tell me to use drugs and alcohol, it’s very self destructive.

Hah. I got a sponsee banned from Walmart for a month along with me after I took him there to googly eye bomb their product packaging. Serves him right for saying we didn’t have fun.

:grin:

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Dear anonymous, I am from Russia, I can’t find a sponsor in my city who doesn’t smoke cigarets (no joke), I am a vegan myself and do yoga, if you are free from alcohol or drugs, let’s try to make a program together. Unfortunately, my English level is at the B1-B2 level, I will download the book in English on the Internet. Post scriptum, how do I leave my contact details here?
UTC +6
Sober for 2 years

Can you help me?
Dear anonymous, I am from Russia, I can’t find a sponsor in my city who doesn’t smoke cigarets (no joke), I am a vegan myself and do yoga, if you are free from alcohol or drugs, let’s try to make a program together. Unfortunately, my English level is at the B1-B2 level, I will download the book in English on the Internet. Post scriptum, how do I leave my contact details here?
UTC +6
Sober for 2 years

Sorry, I’m not active in the program right now and I never wanted to sponsor anyone. Good luck though.

Hey, I resemble that remark. It’s inaccurate, we aren’t just plain boring, we are specially boring.

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I went to NA for five years sometimes three times a day and made a lot of close friends. I owe them for my sobriety today and still work the steps it’s just when I’m on a manic high AA people can really bring me down.

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Maybe that’s a good thing. Getting grounded and all that.

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It shouldn’t matter if they smoke, eat meat, or don’t do yoga. Your sponsor’s job is to help you work the Steps and program to achieve and maintain sobriety. It’s none of their business what you eat or how you exercise and vice versa. It always ends badly when you have a sponsor who polices your life outside of the program.

Suggest looking in local Facebook groups for AA or other 12 Step programs near you so you can find a sponsor that shares your language, culture, and Time Zone (that last one is a big deal!).

Good luck.

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In a 12 step AA program with a sponsor, or supposed to be - covid cocked it all up and its been mostly zoom meetings, and unfortunatley flaming trolls have been joining and taking the piss.

They seem to change daily round here - so its hard to plan for one thats actually a physical meeting and arranging transport.