- Tightness in head area (not pressure, more like someone is squeezing my head, or cutting off circulation).
- Feeling that I’m about to have an angry outburst, but only to do one specific thing (like randomly snap, lose control of my limbs, then punch through my laptop, or bunch the wall, or end up breaking my arm).
- Constant feeling like something is tugging at or wringing my stomach
- Constant feeling around my back like someone is constantly triggering the nerves there to have me shake and walk around like I’m effeminate and to constantly “lose it” and have my limbs start violently flailing around breaking everything around me
- Constant feeling like I’m about to lose control (for no reason) and start breaking everything
- Almost constant “hyper” feeling, but it’s not hyperness or anything pleasant, it’s closer to what’s described when they talk about the restlessness that’s a side-effect of certain medication. I can’t sit still, it’s like I’m about to start shaking, I get the immediate sense that I won’t be able to fall asleep, and the thoughts being pumped in go from severe and debilitating to maddening, and all they do is constantly try to ■■■■■■■■ away what’s happening, say they are trying to do something good and are trying to help me, and that it’s my fault this is happening, and that this is what I deserve.
And it all happens while I get the sense and the nudges like someone is forcing this all in to make me do these things to screw me over, get me in trouble, get revenge, be able to claim they were right, and to have me be exactly the stupidity they’ve always tried to say I am, all while pumping excuses into my head that they are somehow trying to help, or are doing a good thing, and that I deserve to get screwed over like this and while constantly pumping in ■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■ excuses to use as more reason why this is exactly what should be happening to me.
What did it end up being?
- Massive weight loss (20-30lbs) in less than 3 months
- Difficulty maintaining an erection
- No longer able to ejaculate (nothing comes out)
- Masterbation results in a weird tingly sensation, an immediate urge to climax, and more ■■■■■■■■ thoughts being pumped into my head
- No libido
- Masterbation isn’t pleasurable
- Everytime I go to masterbate, there’s always some idiot ensuring ■■■■ is attached to it (“it’s because this person quit”), or ensuring that they can say they are the reason
- Ejaculate comes out when I urinate
- Constant burning in ■■■■■ area
- Constant urge being pumped in to just rip my ■■■■■ off
- Constant urge like someone is going to step in and rip it off, while saying more of the dumbest ■■■■, and giving more ■■■■■■■■ excuses to say there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing, and that somehow this is exactly what should be happening to me