I’m not overly thrilled today.
Things started well but then I met my boyfriend and he yelled at me.again.
He asked me to sit by his garage and wait for him and I said why and he became furious for asking such a question.apparently it was to guard his things.
I’m so disappointed and fed up with him putting me in this position of him being homeless and trying to live rent free in my place when my land lady said no and when he is getting money for renting his place out.
He has yelled at me probably more than 99% more in three months than my x did in 21/2 years.wtf!
He is funny and makes me laugh and best sex ever and I love him but I’m starting to think this may not work out.
I’m angry and disappointed that he would rent his place out and expect me to lie to my land lady and sneak him in to sleep here while he cashed in and I risk becoming homeless.
It’s not ok.
He said if he can’t stay with me he will go live with a woman who is interested in him and asks him out for drinks etc
Sick of him yelling at me for no reason such as me accidentally spilling soup etc
Today I prayed for my x boyfriend and begged that he would be my friend in spirit and that I appreciate every moment with him and that it is the most peaceful loving happy home I ever had.
When I prayed for and about n to him I started crying because I hold him so high.
I later prayed about my boyfriend and just felt disconnected, distant, heartbroken,empty, disappointed etc but no tears.
I appreciate my time with him too but it’s not ok to treat me bad and I think he treats me bad.he treats me well too but that doesn’t make it ok.
I have anxiety and feel strangeled etc
I don’t like the situation he put me in.
I want stability etc
He is giving me the opposite.
He also said he killed a dog by pouring cold water on it for barking on a cold winter day.
That’s murder n not ok .
What if he killed my dog for barking as my dog barks.
I can’t break up with him now but I need to say he can’t stay at my place and if he moves in with the woman who fancies him then so be it but my land lady said no and could lick me out if I go against her on that.its her apartment not mine.her choice not mine.
I don’t know if we our relationship can survive this.
I don’t think it can and when he yelled at me today it was just so awful and I almost walked out on him but didn’t.
The good is great but the bad is simply not acceptable.
Hope you guys are feeling better.
My heart is hurting.
Love to us hey.