I was in every prison, jail and holding cell in one Province, but then I worked for the courts back then 
1 Like
sounds like a dangerous job.
1 Like
It just sucks and I guess Iām assuming hereā¦ but that the cause of your crimes werenāt your fault because you were in psychosis. It seriously makes me saddened that things like that can happen to someone that with a completely healthy brain would be innocentā¦
And the reason I say theyād be innocent is because they never would of commuted the crimes to begin with because they werenāt out of their head.
1 Like
Things could have been worse due to the delusions luckly after I came out of prison and started getting into trouble again the police were pretty good and sent me to a hospital I was then medicated and seen by a psychiatrist who eventually diagnosed me with schizophrenia I got back in contact with my family and friends who I hadnāt been in contact with for a couple years and had been looking for me I am now supported by my father and am excepted amongst my friends stIāll a battle but I will get through it. Schizophrenia still has a grip on me but I will loosen it.
2 Likes
@Big-guns I know you will loosen it. And thatās awesome that your family and friends accept you still. Iām greatly supported by family. But few friends stuck around. I try to talk to them but they donāt seem interested.
1 Like
Family is more important but I guess I am lucky to still be able to keep in contact with some of my friends. Itās great to know that you have your familyās support I couldnāt do it without mine. You could always make new friends but you canāt choose your family. I come across pretty normal to my friends But they donāt see the bad side of schizophrenia only my family do.
2 Likes
I try and make new friends but I always feel like Iām not normal enough at conversation to interact with themā¦ and I beat myself up over it so badā¦ Idk if its confidence or lack of emotion or eitherā¦
1 Like
Find the confidence you can start by preparing yourself through study putting yourself in a social environment maybe somewhere like the gym which is good for the physical and mental health you need to integrate back into society but more importantly end the inner conflict guilt and shame that you may have because of your condition get out more like for dinner etc feel more comfortable in public.
2 Likes
Id love to get back in the gym. Its just getting in there all the time. I went a couple weeks ago and liked it. I seem to have a staring problem when im in there though and its literally like ocd like i cant help itā¦ pretty funny now that i think about it
1 Like
Staring problem?
Well tbh idk if its a problem or if everyone does itā¦ I mean its like I have to focus on somethingā¦ my mom said she does it when shes in the gym tooā¦ just looking at people occasionallyā¦ i wouldnt have a problem if i went with my brother but he never invites meā¦
1 Like
Then id have someone im comfortable with to talk to ya know
1 Like
My father tells me that when he is in the gym he blocks everybody out and gets in the zone and focuses on the weghts I want to do the same thing. There are alot of players and and young woman in the gym I go to I get really conscious lol if I can get back into the zone I will be happy. I used to do that with gaming as a child lol
1 Like
Same hereā¦ but i feel as though i dont need as much concentration lifting as playing video games. But alot of the problem is i take about a minute break between each set and 3 to 5 between each exerciseā¦ hehe
Itās good to take breaks like that. When you become a great lifter you will find that the focus is very important and you will focus alot getting in that zone man nothing beats it.
I always was a fan of the pump when i lifted alot. Sadly when i got in great shape i was in the midst of a psychotic breakā¦ i ask my doc why i cant do it anymore. He says maybe its because i was out of my mind. Thats bs thoughā¦ its because now im sedated and reaking the side effects of schizophrenia
1 Like
The same happend to me and also the side effects of the meducation I havenāt been able to really lift the same for years I used to be able to lift a bit benched over 500 pounds after I rebuilt my shoulder myself with exercise and discipline I didnāt know but I was experiencing early signs of the condition at the time. I might be able to lift a 3rd of what I used to
Dang i was small just really cut. I weighed about 140 but i didnt get in to bench pressing. I did chest machines and alot of running, abs, arms, and shoulders. Never got into my back or legs as far as lifting. I did buy some exercise equipment from onnit.com like the 20 pound steel mace and did tire slams with it. Also a ton of pullups. I could do about 30 straight. Now i can do about 10
Your lucky you can do 10 I canāt do even 1 lol and Iāve done about 65 in one go years ago. Iām just going to loose 25kg and see do light training gonna give it six months
Id train with ya man. Maybe wed be able to encourage eachother. Haha. Whats you weight at if you dont mind me asking im 5ā8 148 pounds rn i got up to 168 on risperidone but got off of it and dropped about 15 pounds then quit drinking lost another 5