Anybody else afraid one day your meds will stop working

my thoughts are still very crazy and i keep having images that my meds will stop working someday and i will relapse and it will be 10 times worst than my first episode im talking like hallucinating that there are people all around you when you are alone the voices were bad enough but if i started having visual hallucinations as realistic as my auditory hallucinations were i would really go insane

i feel like i have life too easy right now i never really had many problems before psychosis i was always pretty lucky and now i just sit at home all day on my computer being a failure but i actually hate myself and all these thoughts i have and things i see in my mind just really bother me but at the same time i want to quit my meds and just be completely natural even tho i know my brain isnt like a normal persons i dont like relying on drugs to be sane and i feel like if i quit meds i will either get used to hearing voices and maybe somehow find a way to live life better or my symptoms will stay how they are now forever, or i will get symptoms again and be ■■■■■■ for a while until i can get meds again,

if the med i am on stops working for my hallucinations i will probably not take any meds at all because this one hasnt caused any weight gain and i have been able to lose weight easier i know i probably wouldnt care much about my weight during a psychotic episode but right now in my kind of sane mind it is the only thing i care about and i refuse to take anything that can ■■■■ up my metabolism like zyprexa did,
i am actually kind of curious of what would happen if i quit my meds like i know its probably not a good idea but what if i will find a way to not need them

my mind is really mixed up right now i am still not knowing what to do like i feel i have recovered some and maybe i wont need meds but than again a majority of people with this illness relapse but maybe i am different most people dont have psychotic episodes until like 18-21 and mine started at 15 i think maybe jus messed up my mind from using alot of drugs daily at a young age

i dont really know why I am even typing this i keep thinking stuff than thinking the opposite i just want to get to my goal weight, be happy and sane, and not have such a boring life and have perfect meds is that too much to ask for

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this has turned into a post of me rambling

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Rambling is good. Especially in a place where people can relate. Rumble on haha

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I don’t fear my meds not working anymore but I fear the people that are controlling my brain overriding my meds. I suppose that is the same thing as saying I fear my meds not working anymore, lol, but to me it is the people controlling my brain. The meds have no power over them.

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My Risperidone is not working as well as it once did.
This is unfortunate.

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I relate man, before I started smoking weed I no real issues, life was good as ■■■■. Now I sit at home most of the day, my head is ■■■■■■. I hear things that may or may not be there, I’m bothered by ■■■■ in my mind other people aren’t bothered by. I isolate myself a lot. I’m hoping Klonopin takes my anxiety away. My current AP (Navane) takes away the worst of it but I still have hallucinations and delusions.

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What medication are you on?

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I’m on Geodon .

By that time there will be newer better meds we can be put on. And don’t worry, if insurance doesn’t cover you worst case scenario you end up on Haldol or Risperdal. Haldol doesn’t cause weight gain for most people.

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I have that fear as well.

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