Hi I need advice on the writing style of a short story I’m writing. It’s only two pages long so far but I need someone to help me get out the kinks before I continue and have to do a total rewrite.
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@anon4362788 and @jukebox are both published authors
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Thanks for the @
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What kind of kinks?
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I have a feeling it’s a bad style. If I PM you would you want to tell me what you think of it?
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Ok. Go ahead. 15
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So am I! 1515151515
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Why did you tell me ‘it’s gonna feel all real in a minute though’?
Here
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I’m also a published author with great reviews!
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what book did you write? Linky to it?
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Aight sweet. Want to shamelessly self promote?
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are you dutch, @Marbles ?
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It was a mistake. I’m even scared to post this… Cause sometimes it seems real and then the voices call me a snitch etc etc ■■■■■■■■
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Yeah Belgian 151515
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ah same =) i’m from the north of antwerp. I am reading the piece you wrote and noticed you talked about dutch in it.
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I don’t believe your a real sz
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My book is, “Unbalanced: The Autobiography of a Schizophrenic Bipolar Woman”, by Lisa M. Fina. It can be found on Amazon.com It received rave reviews.
Lisa M. Fina is my pen name.
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@anon47167357 stop harassing him. I mean it.
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It looks good. Better than a ton of things I have seen from people trying to write. So you are past the first hurdle of…write something good.
Second, you have a little issue with grammar. Not bad. Just a touch.
Third, use his name more. There’s mostly " he did this" and “he did that”. Not until way later do we see his name. Mix it up. If you want, refer to him as the kid a few times before he reveals his name.
All in all, just needs polishing and every writer polishes endlessly. Make it shine.
I suggest getting yourself a copy of Stephen King’s book, On Writing. You can check it out of a library if you need.
Good job.
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