i wrote 2 love-raps and recorded them for my husband but i’ve never performed
i wrote monologues and plays for theatre too but haven’t performed them either
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When I was on Risperdal - I was a zombie and didn’t function in the creativity almost at all. I said it to my nurse and she let me to switch to Zypadhera. My life has at least become good in the ‘coming up with the stuff’ then afterwards.
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Hey man, I´m finishing my jazz performance degree and I was on the same boat as you 3 years ago.
Here is my story: I don´t socialize well by any means after sz, I´m awkward, I don´t wash my clothes and I just don´t wanna talk to anybody.
But the jam sessions were something completely different. It forced me to be clean and socialize because I really needed them. They are the only source of socialization that I really like, and when I started going there I was excited all week to go there and play. I usually play a couple of tunes, talk to people 15 min and go home.
Plus music school and jams are full of “weirdos”. No one will ever notice anything from your behavior.
I think jams are awesome for two reasons. The musical and the personal/social. Forcing yourself to be out there will give you immense confidence and emotional healthiness in no time.
EDIT: I just realized you were talking about gigs, no jams. Well, if you play “modern music” (that´s how we call it here) just going to jams 3 times a week will stop the nerves in no time. Sometimes you can get even more pressure in the jams than in a live concert.
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My anxiety can get so astronomically high before and during a performance that I actually HAVE to quit the performance, apologize, and walk off stage.
This experience affected me so badly that I have yet to perform on stage again 14 years later. I even have a very hard time performing privately, offstage.
It depends on how well I know the person I’m performing for. The better I know them, the better I do.
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I would know as well how to perform classical music (or music where everything is written out). As an improviser, at least i can do some bars of silence in between to reorganize my thoughts.
BTW @SkinnyMe do you know Kenny Werner? He is a very accomplished jazz pianist. He has a book and some talks on youtube about his own experience with different psychological aspects of performing.
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@dreamer54 , Back in the mid 2000’s to the mid 2010’s, or thereabouts, I was really getting into listening to (not playing), jazz music in a very big way while at the same time studying classical piano performance and composition. Don’t ask me why the dichotomy. Eventually, I settled into enjoying listening to classical piano concerts, as I do today.
And no, I’ve never heard of Kenny Werner. What instrument does he play?
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I like singing to myself although I’m out of tune.
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Some people call it “new wave” as a derogatory connotation. I think it´s the right book for some people tho. It´s called effortless mastery. It covers different topics ranging from performance anxiety to why we don´t enjoy practising. His playing is extremely free and his sound is amazing. But for sure he knows his theory.
I´m watching Becoming The Instrument (Masterclass) - Kenny Werner - YouTube right now. I didn´t know he had a new book!
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My guitars have been my therapists for 50 years, plus a bit of vocals when my vocalchords were younger lol.
I wish I could sing.
But am pretty out of tune.
Last time I was drunk I sang well.
But I was drunk.
That’s not me when I’m drunk… Sob sob sob sob sob 
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Don’t stress, tons of musicians/vocalists perform and/or record intoxicated. I can think of a few singers who literally collapsed on stage coz they were too wasted. And these are known acts. So, sing your heart out! Have fun with it! 
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Aw thanks. Unfortunately I’m not a believer in alcohol anymore. Yeap I can think of Amy Winehouse., she died at 27…
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yeah i plau drums. didnt used to be nervous about playing live like at 18. had fun with it. got nervous about it when i got older. i dont think ill play live again because of that and being so rusty.
I played guitar since my youth. Was in a band at one point and did maybe shy of a dozen concerts. The first ones were the worst considering nervousness. But I got more confident with time. Learned from my mistakes, athough the nervousness didn’t go away, it got better.
I think it’s like this for most people though. It’s not a coincident that especially musicians often get mixed up with drugs. It’s a hard life pleasing the crowds.
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