I’m in hell right now. I was trying to watch the football today with my dad but I literally barely took any of it in - I wasn’t ‘all there’. I couldn’t concentrate on it for any more than a few seconds at a time, before just getting lost in other thoughts. I’ve spent the entirely day pretty much incapacitated by an inabilty to think straight, yet if someone speaks to me, I’m able to act ‘normal’ for those few seconds, even though it takes a monumental effort. It’s getting to the point where I’m spending minutes in a trance-like state and I’m not really focusing on what I’m doing.
I don’t experience any hallucinations or delusions whatsoever, so I’m guessing that if this is developing schizophrenia, it must be the disorganised type. What a horrible thought. It’s bizarre though, because I’m 100% aware and have full insight. I would hate the idea of being totally disorganized but aware of it underneath.
Anyway I have to start the Quetiapine - I have no other choice, but if I am about completely lose my mind, is there any hope for me?
Wish me luck - I feel like I’m almost approaching a crisis of some sort (I can barely function as it is), but I’m fully lucid so I’m just so confused about what is to come!
I wish you all well and I hope I’m still able to speak with you as this progresses.